


Who You Gonna Call?

by dommific, ken_ichijouji (dommific)



Category: Ghostbusters, Star Trek 2009
Genre: M/M, star trek 2009 fusion with the real ghostbusters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 12:16:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/pseuds/dommific, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/pseuds/ken_ichijouji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ghostbusters au, starring Hikaru Sulu, Montgomery Scott, Jim Kirk, and Leonard McCoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this back in October or thereabouts, for a Ghostbusters AU featuring the Trek characters. Because it’s me, it’s not so much a movie AU as it is a Real Ghostbusters AU because hey adapting 22-minute episodes is way easier than doing an entire film.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the idea for this back in October or thereabouts, for a Ghostbusters AU featuring the Trek characters. Because it’s me, it’s not so much a movie AU as it is a Real Ghostbusters AU because hey adapting 22-minute episodes is way easier than doing an entire film.
> 
> This fic in particular is an adaptation of RGB episode six, “The Boogieman Cometh.” For reference, Jim = Venkman, Bones = Spengler, Scotty = Stantz, Sulu = Zeddemore, and Rand = Janine. Chekov’s in here too, as a surprise.
> 
> The reference to “that time the French government” hired them is a reference to the RGB episode “The Ghostbusters in Paris.” The reference to having had a song written about them is, of course, a reference to the Ray Parker, Jr. song “Ghostbusters.”
> 
> I made up the shit about CNN and MSNBC following them around but Bill O’Reilly calling them con men. Which, let’s be honest…if anyone’s going to call the Ghostbusters con men after they’ve saved the world from Gozer, it’s fucking Fox News. (A little of that also comes from Ghostbusters II, where even though they saved everyone from Gozer, the Ghostbusters got sued for fraud and the city of New York filed an injunction against them where they were not allowed to bust ghosts anymore. Hence the reference of the mayor of San Francisco constantly serving them with shit and Rand’s exasperation at the police needing warrants.)
> 
> “Imagine the individual atoms in your body taking separate vacations” is a direct line of Egon’s from the episode “Lights, Camera, Haunting!” Yes, that is what getting hit by a particle beam does to humans. I…kinda don’t really wonder why they got sued, to be honest.
> 
> Oh, the big thing…the 229 Oak Street Firehouse is real! It was recently sold, so you have to take my word for it, but it was really pretty and awesome. It doesn’t have a firepole, but eh. Pretend it does. Here are pictures!
> 
> This is split into two parts due to length. Stupid Livejournal.

  
It was a quiet night in the San Francisco Bay area. Seemingly quiet, anyhow. It was just after midnight, and most of the activity in the city had slowed to a crawl. The sky was clear, not foggy for a change, and the trolleys were running quietly down the streets.

For five-year old Tommy and seven-year old Miri, who lived in a “painted lady” Victorian on Waller Street in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood, however, the night was about to become disturbed.

It happened every other night at the same time. The two of them would be tucked into bed in the room they shared, long since having gone to sleep when it would start.

First, the light would start pooling from underneath their closet door. It was an eerie, darkling light that came from seemingly nowhere as there was no bulb in the closet.

Tommy’s bed was closer to the closet, so the light always woke him first. He sat up in bed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He looked at the bright pink My Little Pony alarm clock Miri got for her last birthday; it was time.

“Miri,” he called quietly. “Miri, wake up.”

Miri stirred, her pigtails trailing across her face. “Leave me alone, Tommy.”

“Miri,” Tommy squeaked. “He’s coming.”

This made Miri sit up. “But he came last night!”

Tommy jumped out of his bed, trailing his stuffed Paddington Bear with him. He climbed into bed with his sister. “I know, but he’s coming again.” Miri wrapped her arms around her baby brother; he trembled in her grip. “Should we go get Daddy?”

“We tried that, and he didn’t believe us,” Miri said as she stared at the light from the closet. It began to glow brighter and brighter.

Then, the door slowly creaked open from the inside.

“No,” Tommy said as tears welled in his eyes. He began to turn his head away from the sight. Miri, however, couldn’t look away. She shook where she sat in the bed, but other than that, she was paralyzed with fear.

The _clip-clap_ sounds of hoofsteps slowly rung out in the room. They were sluggish, almost dragging, but purposeful. There was no other sound except for the steps.

It was lit from behind as it stood in the door. It stood about ten feet tall, and all Miri could see was its horrible, disgusting, stiff smile.

“ **Hello, Miri. Hello, Tommy,** ” it rasped in its high, thin voice. “ **We had so much fun last night that I just can’t stay away from you.** ”

“G-go away,” Miri managed to squeak. “Please, just…just _go away_.”

The creature’s smile grew wider. “ **I can’t do that, Miri. In fact, I think I’m going to come to you every night like this. We’ll have fun.** ”

Tommy began to cry openly as Miri hugged him closer.

“No, please,” she begged, the words coming out on the edge of a sob. “Please. We’ve been good.”

It grinned, and a little spit formed at the corner of its mouth. “ **You told on me to your father. That wasn’t very nice.** ” It advanced on them slowly, its cloven-hooved feet still making that same _clip-clap_ across their wooden floor. Soon, it was standing at the foot of Miri’s bed.

“ **Not. Nice. At. All.** ”

\------

Early the next morning at the 229 Oak Street Firehouse, everything was quiet.

Janice Rand, the Ghostbusters’ secretary, personal assistant, appointment setter, accountant, and all around Girl Friday, balanced a box of bagels and smear, plus five coffees and a USB flash drive on her right side as she unlocked the front door to the firehouse with her left. Not a moment too soon, as the coffees began to slip.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, _no_ ,” she cried out as she finally managed to get the door open. “Yes!” She transferred the coffees back to her left hand as she pushed the door open with her hip. Making her way inside, she paused only to turn on the lights with her elbow. She carried the food and coffee over to her desk, where she dropped them unceremoniously.

Janice plugged the USB drive into a port on her computer before she began to organize the coffees. Fortunately, the guy at Blue Bottle had all their orders down by heart, and all the cups were labeled accordingly. Janice paused to take a sip of her dry cappuccino before heading up the stairs with the food for the guys.

She was most of the way to the kitchen with the door buzzer sounded.

“For shit’s sake,” she grumbled under her breath. She dropped the bagels on the center island in the kitchen, leaving the coffees next to it. It figures; she could barely get anything accomplished without someone interrupting. It was probably another jerk from the mayor’s office getting on them about permits or environmental practices or property damage or any one of the hundreds of reasons the mayor complained about having the Ghostbusters in San Francisco.

She checked her watch; it wasn’t even eight yet.

Jesus.

Janice stomped down the steps, not caring if she woke the guys. They should get up anyways, especially that lazy son of a bitch Jim Kirk. If it was a representative from the city, Kirk would have to do all the talking anyway since he was the CEO and face of Ghostbusters Incorporated. She stomped extra hard on the loose third step just for good measure.

Before long she was at the front door, and she opened it wide.

“Well? I’ve been through this enough to know you need a warrant for whatever…you…” She looked down into the eyes of two small black children. The girl was carrying a large piggy bank, and the boy was holding Paddington Bear like his life depended on it. “Hi?”

“Is this where the Ghostbusters live?” the little girl asked, and her eyes were shining with hope.

Janice bent down so she was at eye level with the little girl. “Yes, this is, but they’re not up yet. What can I do for you?”

“We need to hire them,” the boy blurted. “It’s an emergency!”

Janice looked at both of them with some surprise on her face. “You two want to hire the Ghostbusters? Shouldn’t your mommy or daddy be doing this?”

“Daddy doesn’t believe us,” the girl answered with a frustrated tone. “The Ghostbusters are our only hope.”

Janice smiled. “Of course they are. Well, come on in.” She gestured for the kids to follow her; they were cute, and she highly doubted this was a prank. The little boy looked genuinely terrified. “What are your names?”

“I’m Miri Carter, and this is my little brother Tommy,” the girl proclaimed. “You must be Janice Rand. I’ve seen you on the news. I recognize your hairstyle.”

Janice pat her hair for a second; it was pretty distinctive. “That’s right. It’s nice to meet you, Miri and Tommy, but shouldn’t you both be at school?”

“It’s a teacher work day,” Miri answered as she took a seat in one of the chairs opposite Janice’s desk. “Our parents think we’re at the park.”

“I see. Can I get you something to drink? Water, or milk maybe?”

Tommy nodded his head yes. “Milk please.” Miri looked relieved and smiled a little.

“I’ll have milk too, please.”

“Sure,” Janice said. She began to head back up the stairs. “I’ll be right back with the milk and the guys. Make yourselves at home.”

The first thing Janice did when she got to the second floor was pound on each of the three bedrooms the four Ghostbusters slept in. She pounded once hard on Hikaru’s bedroom, twice on Scotty’s, and five times on Jim and Leonard’s.

That was mostly for Jim’s benefit. She would apologize to Leonard later.

Then she made her way to the kitchen. She had just done their grocery shopping yesterday, so she knew they a) had milk at all and b) that it wasn’t rancid for once. She got two glasses and poured milk in each one.

This was when the guys began to filter into the kitchen. Hikaru was first, and his hair was sticking up in sixteen different directions. He was wearing a pair of striped pajama bottoms and an old Death Cab t-shirt.

“Morning, Jan,” he said with a smile. “What’s up?”

“You four have some customers downstairs,” Janice answered with a shrug. “I know the rule is normally not until ten, but I think there’s an exception to be made this time.”

Hikaru grabbed the soy latte that had SULU written on it in sharpie. He took a long sip, just as Scotty appeared in ratty old red plaid boxers and a sleeveless undershirt.

“Morning, love,” he said as he reached for his breve and an everything bagel. “Did I hear you say we’ve got customers?”

“Customers, it’s not ten,” Leonard McCoy spoke from the doorway in his black silk pajamas. “We were out until four last night with that Class Three at the Farmer’s market out in Oakland. This better be good.”

“I know the rules,” Janice sighed exasperatedly. “Nothing but emergencies before ten. Trust me when I say that this qualifies.”

“I should cut your salary,” Jim Kirk snapped from behind Leonard. He pushed his way past him to stare directly down into her eyes.

“You’d have to pay me to cut it,” Janice snapped back. “I’ve quit better jobs than this!”

Leonard rolled his eyes. “Can we go one day without you two going at it?”

“No,” Jim and Janice said in unison. Leonard rolled his eyes a second time.

“Where are the clients, Jan?” Hikaru asked, trying to change the subject.

“They’re downstairs, waiting on all of you. Like I said, I would have told them to come back if it wasn’t urgent.”

“We trust you, lass,” Scotty said with a smile. He took another sip of his breve. “Now, let’s go meet them.”

“Put some pants on please,” Janice called after them as they began to make their way downstairs. “They’re children.”

“Children?” Jim stopped where he stood on the landing. The other three crashed into him one at a time. “Why didn’t you say they were children?”

“I did say it was urgent,” Janice snapped. “I know what I’m doing.”

Jim rolled his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair. He smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in his blue striped pants. “Whatever.” He began to head down the steps. Hikaru looked to Janice and shrugged at her with a smile. Before long, the four men saw the children sitting in front of Jan’s desk.

“Well hello, who do we have here?” Jim said with a bright grin, clearly turning on the charm. The kids looked up at him, and their eyes widened.

“Tommy and Miri Carter, meet the Ghostbusters,” Janice said with a smile. “Ghostbusters, meet Tommy and Miri Carter.”

“Hi kids,” Hikaru said a smile. He took one of the glasses from Janice and handed it to Miri. “Suppose you tell Hikaru and his friends what the problem is.”

“Well,” Miri began. “It’s…it’s…”

“It’s the Boogieman, sir,” Tommy finished for her.

“What!” Leonard said. The others briefly turned to look at him.

“He comes every few days or so, but now he’s coming every night. He’s horrible and gross, and he _scares us_. We’ve told our Dad a bunch of times, but he won’t listen.”

“Right. Okay. I think you kids just have overactive imaginations,” Jim said smoothly.

“That’s what our Dad said,” Miri said sadly. “He doesn’t believe us either.”

“We believe you,” Leonard said as he knelt down to them. “We believe you one-hundred percent.”

“We do?” Hikaru and Jim said.

“We’ll make some notes, get our equipment, and come to your house tonight.” Leonard continued as if he didn’t hear his partners. “We’ll take care of it.”

For the first time since their arrival, the kids smiled. As if she just remembered she had it, Miri held up the piggy bank. “We don’t have much, but you can have everything that’s in here.”

Jim frowned. “Standard fee for capture and containment is $2500.”

The kids looked at each other with nervous expressions.

“But,” Jim said as he rubbed his chin. “I think for this case, the only fee we require is a smile from the two of you.”

Both of the Carters looked relieved for a second before grinning up at Jim with identical dimples.

“There we are,” Jim said with a grin of his own. “Wait here while we get dressed, and we’ll ask you some more questions.”

“Yay!” Miri shouted. Tommy hugged his Paddington tight, and his eyes sparkled.

“Okay, guys, come on,” Jim said as he gestured to the stairs. “Let’s suit up.” As they made their way back up to their rooms, Jim grabbed Leonard by the arm. “There a reason you’re so adamant about us taking care of this, Bones?”

Leonard stiffened almost imperceptibly. “Well…I mean, considering everything else we see in this business, is it really so hard to believe?”

Jim narrowed his eyes a little. “I guess not.”

Leonard nodded. “So there we have it. Let’s go to their house and take some readings.”

Jim nodded. “Sure, Bones. It can’t hurt.” They made their way to their room and promptly began to change.

And if Jim looked at Bones with a little more scrutiny than usual, no one noticed.

\-----

That night, at around nine pm, the Ghostbusters pulled up to the house on Waller Street. They did so as quietly as possible, and Hikaru kept the lights and sirens off for a change. They made their way through the side street into the backyards until they arrived at the Carters’ back door. Miri stood in the window; she brightened when she saw the Ghostbusters.

“Dad, I’m letting Molly in,” she called back up to the floor above. Her father’s answer was unintelligible through the windows. Miri opened the door and made a shushing motion with her hands. A golden retriever wagged her tail at the sight of the girl, and she ran into the house.

“Dad’s in his office downstairs, we’ll have to be quiet to get up our room,” she explained. “Tommy’s already in bed.”

Jim pat her on the head before adjusting the sleeve of his gold Ghostbusting jumpsuit. “Don’t worry, we’re experts in subterfuge.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Miri admitted as they tiptoed into the house.

“It means we’re good at being sneaky,” Scotty said with a wink. Miri beamed up at them. They reached the landing of the stairs and took a right towards the kids’ bedroom. They slowly opened the door, where Tommy sat up in his bed with his Paddington.

“You really came!” he exclaimed. Miri made the quiet gesture at him, and he immediately blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hikaru said with a grin before pointing to a door. “Is that the closet?”

Leonard grabbed his PKE meter from his belt, pulled out the antennae, and turned it on. “I’m reading psychokinetic energy coming from the closet.”

Jim ran his fingers through his hair. “Huh. Well, I mean…huh.”

The room was dark, save for a nightlight. The clock chimed nine-thirty.

A red light began to pool at the bottom of the closet door. Scotty furrowed his brows with interest, arming his proton pack just to be on the safe side. “Bugger.”

The door slowly opened from the inside, and the light spilled out onto the floor. The PKE Meter in Leonard’s hand began to scream.

“The valances are off the scales,” he said, almost to himself. Jim and Hikaru armed their particle throwers as well.

A long, clawed hand pulled out of the doorway, followed by another. The sound of hoofs dragging across the floor began to clack throughout the room. Its head was next; it was large, almost the size of a grown man’s entire upper body. Its hair was long, stringy, and ink black. Its eyes were large and bulging, grotesque and beady all at once. Its lips were blood red around large, jagged yellow teeth. It wore an old moldy tuxedo jacket and bow tie, although its legs were bare and sickly pale.

“Jesus wept,” Jim said softly.

Leonard froze where he stood. His eyes widened, and the PKE meter fell forgotten from his hands. He started to tremble.

“ **I remember you,** ” the thing rasped as it stared back at him. “ **Little Leonard McCoy. My, how big you’ve gotten**.”

Leonard didn’t move.

“Um, Bones?” Jim asked with a pronounced frown. “We’d like to shoot the bad guy now. Can you be a dear and get out of the way?”

Leonard shook his head. “It’s…” The Boogieman took a few steps toward him. This seemed to shake him out of it, and he grabbed his particle thrower. He armed it and took aim. “Not again!”

He opened fire on the Boogieman. The monster reared its head back and screamed in protest. Leonard held him in his beam before moving to the side. The other Ghostbusters all made relieved noises before they, too, blasted it.

They held those positions for a minute or two before Jim frowned. “Why isn’t this working?”

“It’s not a ghost,” Scotty shouted back. “It’s something else. The trap won’t work on it.”

“You might have wanted to think of that a little bit sooner,” Sulu ground out.

“Go full stream, maybe we can push him back into the closet,” Jim ordered. They all turned their blasters up to full power, and, indeed, the Boogieman began to move back towards the door. It didn’t take long, and he fled through the doorway. It shifted back into being a normal closet, and the Ghostbusters turned off their particle throwers in response.

Leonard immediately advanced on the closet door.

“We have to go after him,” he said.

“No, we don’t,” Sulu snapped back. “In what contract does it say that?”

“Leonard,” Scotty said in a more diplomatic tone. “We need to study the readings, gather some more equipment. We’re not prepared for this.”

Leonard didn’t budge; his eyes stayed locked on the closet.

At this precise moment, the bedroom door slammed open. There stood a man who could only be Mister Carter.

And he looked _pissed_.

“What the hell is going on here?” he asked as he placed his hands on his hips.

“Ah, yes, good evening,” Scotty said with a grin. “I’m Montgomery Scott, PhD. These are my colleagues, Doctor James T. Kirk, Doctor Leonard McCoy, and Hikaru Sulu. We’re the Ghostbusters, and we have reason to believe that a Class Seven full-bodied corporeal entity has taken residence in your children’s closet through an inter-dimensional rip that enables it to cross into our world for the sole purposes of terrorizing pre-pubescent citizens. Or, in layman’s terms, the Boogieman is scaring your children every night through a doorway in your closet.”

Mister Carter blinked furiously for a second, before glaring at the Ghostbusters. “I see. I think perhaps you should go. Now.”

Jim held up his hands. “Your kids hired us, not you. We go when they say it’s okay.”

Miri and Tommy looked up at the Ghostbusters, and the looks on their faces almost made Jim’s heart break. “It’s okay. You can go now. Thanks for trying,” Miri said.

Jim patted her on the head once before turning a glare onto Mister Carter. “C’mon guys. Let’s head back to HQ.” He turned to face Bones, who was still staring at the closet. “All of us,” he said with some harshness in his voice. This finally pulled Bones out of his reverie, and he began to walk to the door.

The Ghostbusters made their way down the stairs and out the front door.

“Well, I guess we should head back,” Scotty said, trying to lighten the mood. Hikaru stopped where he stood and looked back up toward the window that he now knew housed the Carter children.

“If it’s the same to you guys, I think I’ll stay. This Boogieman might come back, and while he’s never touched the kids before, I don’t think he’ll be so nice tonight.”

Jim nodded. “Good thinking.” His expression became stern. “Bones, that… _thing_ said it remembered you. Is there anything you’d like to share with us, before we rush home and try to stop it?”

Leonard stiffened as he tried to put his proton pack into the back of Ecto-1. Somewhat robotically, he turned to face Jim with a defiant look in his eyes. “The Boogieman came out of my closet when I was a kid. Every night for years, until we moved to California.” He crossed his arms across his chest. “You happy?”

Without another word, he got into the driver’s seat and started the car. Scotty waved to Jim to take the passenger seat, but Jim instead got in the back passenger side as far away from Leonard as he could get.

“Okay,” Scotty said to himself. He got in the passenger’s seat and fastened his seatbelt.

They took off into the night back towards their firehouse.

\-----

Hikaru stood on the street below the Carter children’s bedroom, leaning against a telephone pole. It had been about twenty minutes by his estimation, and so far nothing had happened. He made a point to stay out of sight of the front windows as best he could, lest Mister Carter see him and call the cops or something.

Fortunately, the children’s bedroom window was open. Hikaru didn’t think shattering it would go over well.

He sighed a little, shifting his position against the pole.

Honestly, Scotty and Leonard needed to come up with a way to make ghostbusting less dangerous. The kickback from the particle beams was pretty severe, and Hikaru had been in the Marines. The beams themselves practically incinerated everything they touched that wasn’t spectral in nature.

Hikaru ran his hand through his hair. He was still kind of haunted by Leonard’s words when he asked what it would do to him if the beams ever hit him.

 _Imagine all the individual atoms in your body taking separate vacations,_ Leonard explained, and Hikaru shuddered at the memory.

 _Oh don’t worry,_ Scotty had continued. _You’d die instantly, anyways, so it’s not like it’d be especially painful_.

Hikaru snorted.

He hadn’t even believed in the supernatural when he answered their ad, to be honest. He just didn’t want to work at his father’s firm right out of the Marines. Being in the military meant he got accustomed to irregular hours, working with his hands, and a certain level of action and suspense. His bachelor’s degree was in accounting, but he couldn’t think of anything worse than to be stuck doing that day in and day out.

So, he saw the ad, double-taked at the mention of ghosts, went to the firehouse, interviewed with Janice, and Scotty offered him the job without even glancing at him to see what he looked like.

Which, you know, it wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful or didn’t love what he was doing. He genuinely loved ghostbusting, as dangerous as it could be at times, and it kept him in shape, which he appreciated.

The money wasn’t bad either, and he saved a lot by not having to pay rent.

Plus, he was kind of a celebrity now. Granted, mugging for the camera was more Jim’s area of expertise, but still, they had a song written about them for Pete’s sake. They had all given interviews on multiple occasions, and usually there were features about them on the local news. Sometimes even the national news would run a story, depending on how big the case was. They got a ton of exposure after Gozer, for example. There was also that time the French government hired them for the mess with the Eiffel Tower, which involved them being followed by CNN and MSNBC.

Fox News continually refused to pay attention to them except to label them as con men. Jim almost trashed the television in the lab the last time it happened to be on the O’Reilly Factor.

Which, whatever to him. Hikaru wasn’t a fan in the first place.

He sighed and leaned back against the pole.

Hikaru also wasn’t a fan of getting arrested for loitering, but it was better and safer for the kids.

Hikaru genuinely liked kids a lot, and Tommy and Miri were cute. They had to be, or else Jim would have never agreed to take this case _pro bono_. Jim was incredibly tight-fisted, and writing up the bill was his favorite part of the ghostbusting.

A light shone through the window of the kids bedroom, but it was wrong. It was the same light from before, the Boogieman was back.

Hikaru armed his proton pack and took aim. Fortunately, the window was between the closet and the kids’ beds. Boogie walked in sight of the window, and this time he looked _mean_.

“Not on my watch,” Hikaru snapped as he fired. The stream hit the Boogieman right in the torso, and he screamed in pain. Hikaru began to push him back toward the closet. It worked, and the Boogieman ran screaming into it, slamming the door behind him.

Miri and Tommy came to the window. “Hi, Mister Ghostbuster,” Tommy said with a wave. Miri just smiled.

Hikaru put the particle thrower back in its holster. “Remember,” he called up to them with a thumbs up and a grin. “If you’re not afraid, he can’t hurt you!”

The kids flashed thumbs up back down to him.

“We’ll remember,” Miri said. With that, they disappeared; they probably went back to bed. Hikaru sighed.

He should probably hang around a little longer.

Just in case.  
[Part Two](http://ken-ichijouji.livejournal.com/54991.html)


	2. Who You Gonna Call - Part Two

Jim’s iPhone beeped just a second ahead of Scotty and Leonard’s Droids. Jim, who was still pointedly glaring at Bones every chance he had when not reading about the Boogieman in Tobin’s Spirit Guide, absently picked up his phone, pushed the home button, unlocked it, and went to his messages.

“ _Boogieman came back to attack the kids,_ ” he read aloud. “ _If he stays gone, I’ll be home in an hour._ ”

Scotty, who was soldering what looked like a large grenade, nodded. Bones was helping him.

Jim went back to reading the book. The two Wonder Twins didn’t stop working even for a moment. “According to this the Boogieman is like a parasite; he literally feeds on the fear of children.” Jim set the book down. “Well, I mean, it’s a shitty job to have, but he’s definitely got job security.”

“He doesn’t have access to every child,” Bones said without looking up. “Not every closet leads to his dimension.”

“Aye, that makes sense,” Scotty said. “I never encountered him as a child, but you did.”

“Until my family moved us here,” Bones said. “Then I never saw him again until today.”

Jim glowered at Bones, shoving the book pointedly across the table. He looked off into the distance before turning back to his cellphone. 

_Come back when you can,_ he typed. _We’ll be up_. He hit send.

“We can’t trap the Boogieman because he’s not a ghost,” Bones said. “But we can stop him from entering our world.”

“How do we get access to it, though, when we can’t get back into the Carter’s house? Do we just wander the city until we find another house with a portal?”

Jim continued to glare at nothing in particular until an idea struck him. He snapped his fingers. “Remember what they say about the mountain and Mohammed?”

“No,” Scotty admitted.

Jim opened his mouth before closing it. “I’m not surprised. Anyways, I’m not spending all night scouring the city; from a logical standpoint, it doesn’t make any sense. But what we can do is look on Craigslist for apartments to rent, check _those_ out, find one with high PKE readings in the closet, and set a trap!”

Scotty and Bones looked up from their work. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” Bones said. “It’d save us gas and legwork, although renting a place will be kind of expensive.”

“I’ll worry about the money,” Jim said in a harsher tone than was strictly necessary. 

Scotty looked at Jim, looked at Bones, looked back down at the bomb thing, and then back to Jim.

“I think I’m going to make a coffee run,” he announced, pausing to crack his back before standing. “Yes, coffee. Late night. I’ll go to Peet’s and get some.” With an awkward wave, he set off out of the lab and down the stairs.

Bones pulled his safety goggles to the top of his head. “What the hell is your problem?” he asked.

“Says the guy who’s been keeping shit from me since I met him,” Jim said. “Which was what? Ten years ago?”

“Ten years, two months, four days, and thirteen hours,” Bones corrected.

“Whatever,” Jim said. “Not once, _not once_ did you ever tell me about this, and considering I was the only friend you had until Scotty was our TA in Professor Pike’s parapsych class, I think that says something.”

“Jim---“

“And what it says is _bullshit_ , for the record,” Jim interrupted. “You tell me everything, or so I thought, but now I find out you’ve been keeping things from me.”

“As skeptical as you are of everything we do, do you really fault me?” Bones said, although he sounded less irritated and more resigned. “And I tried to tell you once; you immediately started arguing with me about how the supernatural is all horseshit.”

For the second time, Jim opened his mouth before closing it without speaking. He remembered that argument, actually. They both had gotten drunk on cheap beer that night, and Bones just kept saying he had his “reasons” for believing that ghosts and specters were real. 

And yeah, Jim said he was full of shit. 

He eventually stopped saying that out loud once they took parapsych and met Scotty, who also believed in ghosts. Still though, Jim didn’t honestly think that ghosts were real until that fateful day at the Richmond/Senator Milton Marks Branch Library. He genuinely found parapsychology fascinating, but more from the perspective of exposing frauds and con artists like his father. 

Scotty and Bones were the ones who lived and breathed it, while Jim and Hikaru kept them in check and spotted the phonies. It worked out pretty well in the year it’d been since they founded the company.

“I would have believed _you_ , you ass,” Jim said. “Even Scotty sometimes I doubt, but if _you_ had told me the Boogieman was real…if _you_ had been the one to say it, I would have believed _you_. Not right away, and not without some teasing, but I would have believed you, Bones, and it really hurts that you doubt me and my reactions so much.” He slammed the nearly forgotten book closed. “And _that_ is why I’m pissed.”

Bones had the grace to look surprised and not say anything. He swallowed once, but he didn’t break Jim’s stare.

“I never thought of it like that,” he conceded after some time had passed. “My father, when I told him…he didn’t handle it well. Told me it was impossible, barred me from watching television, that kind of thing. And twice a week, from the time I was four until we moved here at nine, the Boogieman came into my room. I tried to warn the family that bought the house from us, but I couldn’t figure out how to.”

Jim bit his tongue at the mention of David McCoy. He was not his biggest fan, and was not at all sorry when the man passed away during grad school. He kept his opinions to himself, but the bottom line was Bones’ dad was an asshole, and they never got along while he was alive. Jim also wanted to smile at the thought of David’s face if he knew that Bones and Jim were together. 

Now was not the time for that, though.

“I get that you had no reason to think otherwise,” Jim said, and he did. “But it still hurts, Bones. Especially with everything since Gozer.”

Bones sighed and looked down at the table. He shook his head a few times, although Jim could tell that he was doing it at himself. 

“I had honestly forgotten about it, or at least buried it, until today,” Bones finally said. “It wasn’t some malicious thing where I was never going to tell you. It just hadn’t come up in long enough that I put it out of my mind.”

Jim rubbed his hand down his face. “That’s a really shitty excuse considering what we do for a living.”

“It is, I’m not denying that,” Bones conceded. “But it’s the truth.”

Jim stared at him for a while; Bones wasn’t lying to him. Hell, Bones had probably been programmed to tell the truth since birth. It still hurt, though. Less than it did before, and he wasn’t really angry anymore, but it hurt. Jim sighed before wiping a hand across his eyes.

“Want some help with that?” He said with a gesture to the bomb thing.

“Your soldering work leaves much to be desired,” Bones replied.

“Oh come on, I doubled in engineering for those first two years.”

“Because you thought it would teach you how to be a train conductor,” Bones said.

Jim huffed. “Do you want my help or not?”

Bones held up a magnifying lens. “You can hold this in place while I work on it.”

Jim snorted. “I’ll remember this when you want me to make room in the budget for your next hair-brained scheme.” He moved to sit next to Bones and put the magnifying lens into position. “Is this good?”

Bones pulled his safety goggles back down over his eyes. “Little to the left.”

Jim moved it slightly to the left.

“Perfect,” Bones said. He wiped the soldering iron off on a damp sponge for a second, before moving it into position. “Just hold it steady.”

Jim smiled. “Of course.”

They worked together until Scotty came home with the coffee; Hikaru showed up at the same time and he joined them in the lab. It took them until dawn, but they finished their project.

\-----

“This is really irritating,” Jim said to no one in particular. 

After leaving a note for Janice to get them apartment showings at the fourteen suitable (translation: affordable) places on a list on her desk, the Ghostbusters had opted to get a few hours of rest. At ten on the dot, Janice knocked on their doors and gave them a color-coded map of the San Francisco Bay Area, and the apartments she had managed to get showings for that day. 

The Ghostbusters all showered and changed into street clothes before starting with the closest apartment heading all the way across the bridge into Berkeley. They were at the last apartment on their list, a two bedroom near the university. 

“We still have one more to go,” Bones said as they walked back to Ecto-1. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Jim said. “Although it’s highway robbery, what they’re asking for it.”

“It’s Berkeley,” Hikaru said with a shrug as he got in shotgun.

“It wasn’t that bad when we were in school,” Jim countered as he sat in the back with Bones. Scotty turned on the engine and off they drove to their destination.

“It was still pretty bad,” Bones said. 

“Not three grand for a two bedroom bad,” Jim argued. “Seriously. Three grand for a two bedroom. Who does that?”

“People in Berkeley,” Hikaru said with another shrug. “Bet now you get why I didn’t argue when you all suggested I move into the firehouse.”

Scotty took a turn. “My stipend pretty much covered my rent and that was it until we all moved in together. I had to work a second job for a while just so I could pay the rest of the bills.”

“Property values are stupidly high here,” Jim conceded. “Oh well.”

Scotty pulled into a parking space in front of a building. He shut off the engine, and they all stepped out of it. They quickly filed into the office the apartment building, where the manager smiled at them. Her name was Marla, she said, and she wore a button up blouse with a pair of black slacks and heels. She quickly grabbed the keys and ushered them to the apartment they were there to see.

“We’re running a special on this particular apartment,” she said as she opened the door. “$2700 a month, plus half the deposit waived.”

Jim stepped into the apartment first, followed by Bones, who immediately pulled out the PKE meter and began examining the closets. “Do you do month to month leases?”

“Yes, but that makes the price go up to $3100 on the special,” Marla answered. Bones wandered into the first bedroom, judging by his disappearance. 

Jim put his hands in his pockets. Scotty was looking out the back window while Hikaru explored the kitchen. Marla began to extol the virtues of the place, southern exposure and so on. Jim heard it all day so he just tuned it out at this point. 

But the distinctive whine of a PKE meter going off…that he knew better than to ignore.

“Ah ha!” Bones exclaimed from the bedroom. “We’re hot!”

Scotty grinned excitedly as he bounced up on his toes. Hikaru looked relieved. Marla looked a little confused, but she smiled at Jim.

“I guess we’ll take it,” Jim said to her. “Can we move in today?”

Marla’s smile became less confused.

\-----

After setting up the one room of the apartment with a bed, a dresser, and a haphazard poster of the characters from _Adventure Time!_ , the Ghostbusters realized they had a bit of a dilemma.

“Someone has to sleep here,” Hikaru announced. “Someone who can pass for a kid.”

“Wait a minute,” Scotty said, and they all looked at him. He wasn’t looking at them or really paying attention to the conversation, though. He was looking at the pile of secondhand stuffed animals they bought from the Goodwill that afternoon. “Is that a Snuffleupagus?”

Jim blinked a few times; judging from their faces, Bones and Hikaru weren’t doing much better. 

“It is! Oh, it’s a Snuffy!” Scotty grabbed the toy and hugged it close. “I had one of these when I was wee, but I lost him in the accident! Oh Snuffy!” He closed his eyes and continued to hold it like his life depended on it.

“Yeah we…we need someone who can pass for a kid. Someone whose thoughts and enthusiasm are the equivalent to that of, say, an eight year old,” Bones said as he continued to look at Scotty with scrutiny.

“Snuffy,” Scotty said again, and his voice was rough with emotion. He opened his eyes and looked around the room.

Jim, Bones, and Hikaru were all staring at him.

“Something I can do for you all?”

Bones smiled.

\-----

“I cannot believe I let you all talk me into this,” Scotty groused as he sat in bed in his pajamas holding the Snuffleupagus. 

The other Ghostbusters, who were in their coveralls, all shrugged. Hikaru grinned down at Scotty.

“Remember, if you’re not afraid,” Hikaru said cheerfully, “he can’t hurt you.”

“Get stuffed,” Scotty retorted. “I want a glass of water.”

“So get a glass of water,” Jim said with a shrug. 

Scotty’s face formed a wicked grin. “But I’m already in bed. So someone should bring me the glass of water so I can go to sleep.”

Bones snorted and left the room, Hikaru following him with a wave. 

Jim looked down at Scotty with a bewildered expression. “Are you high?”

Scotty shrugged. “Get me the water, or I don’t go to sleep.”

Jim sighed exasperatedly. “Fine.” He went into the bathroom and grabbed a paper cup, filling it with tap water. He then walked back into Scotty’s room and shoved the water at him. “Here. Now go to sleep.”

Scotty took the water and drank it down in several large gulps. Jim was almost to the hallway when he called out to him. “Oh Jim…”

Jim sighed. “What?”

Scotty snuggled down into the comforter and pillows. “Tell me a story.”

Jim clenched his fists. He made a loud noise that was a cross between a groan and a yell before Hikaru grabbed him by the arm.

“He’s just getting into the role,” Hikaru admonished. “It’s not a big deal, Jim.”

“The next thing he’ll be getting into is a body cast if he doesn’t cut this shit out,” Jim snapped. He freed his arm from Hikaru’s grasp, turned, and went back into the room. “Once upon a time there were four Ghostbusters who couldn’t do their jobs because one of them was being a complete douche and was refusing to go to sleep, the end!”

Jim slammed the door shut.

Scotty stuck his tongue out at him, blowing a raspberry. He then turned on his side, closed his eyes, and went to sleep.

He had probably been asleep for less than an hour when a light began to pool at the bottom of the closet door. It was bright enough that it stirred him awake. The door slowly began to open from the inside.

Scotty gasped and hugged Snuffy closer. He wanted to yell for the guys, but he was too stunned to say anything. 

The door was fully opened, and there stood the Boogieman.

“ **What have we here?** ” he said as he looked at Scotty up and down. “ **A rather large toddler?** ”

“Freeze, Ghostbusters!” Scotty shouted as he jumped out of the bed. His proton pack, which had been hidden under his pillows, was already armed and waiting. He took aim just as the other Ghostbusters slammed open the door and ran into the room.

The Boogieman screamed, picked up the dresser, and hurled it towards Hikaru and Bones. They managed to dodge it just in time.

“He’s playing rough tonight,” Hikaru said. 

Bones stood and aimed. “Full stream, drive him back through the portal!”

The Ghostbusters all opened fire on the monster as it screamed and began to walk backward into its own realm. He hissed at them one final time before turning and running. Bones widened the angle of his stream, forcing the portal to stay open. 

“Jim, lend a hand with his,” he said as Jim followed suit. Scotty was pulling off his pajamas, which were over his red jumpsuit. He quickly grabbed his combat boots and pulled them on. 

Hikaru went first through the gateway, Scotty following him with a loud whoop. Jim and Bones advanced on the gateway. 

“See you on the flip side, baby,” Jim said with a wink as he disappeared through the portal. Bones turned off his proton stream long enough to dive through it with a yell.

Then he was yelling for a different reason as he slowly fell through open space. He finally landed on an upside-down stairwell.

The Boogieman’s realm was twisted and ugly, just like he was. It was as if M.C. Escher had violently thrown up a Dali painting. The floors twisted and curved in all directions. Up was down, and left was right.

Jim stood on the black and white tile, looking up at a rotting old velvet easy chair that was attached sideways to the wall. “As an interior decorator, this guy makes a hell of a Boogieman.”

Hikaru stood nearby, although he was two-thirds of the way up an angled staircase. “This place is weird. What is this? I mean, where _are_ we?” Bones walked down his staircase, and as he did so he went from being upside down to being right side up.

“This is the Boogieman’s realm,” Bones explained. “It’s kind of like a limbo, an in-between place that he uses to move from portal to portal and closet to closet.”

A door opened, and Scotty appeared from inside it. “So he uses all these doors to scare kids around the globe? That’s pretty sneaky.”

Jim opened a door and saw the same red light that appeared whenever the Boogieman would come out of a closet. “Okay. That’s all well and good, but how do we find this guy?”

Just then, a large statue was hurled at the Ghostbusters. It shattered a wall.

“ **You were foolish to follow me here** ,” the Boogieman proclaimed as he grabbed another statue. 

Hikaru narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think that will be a problem, Jim.”

Before he could throw the statue, Bones took aim and fired, disintegrating it in the process. The Boogieman hissed at him in return before turning and running down a curling blue pathway. 

“He’s running away, get him,” Bones said as he took off after him. The other Ghostbusters quickly followed suit. They followed him down the blue path before a long turn hid him from view. When they passed it, he was nowhere to be found. 

“He’s gone,” Bones said. Jim stopped and took a long look off the path to where more doorways stood. 

“No wait, there he goes,” Jim said as he pointed. “He’s going back into the real world!”

“After him,” Scotty said as they jumped from the path to the floor and one by one followed the Boogieman into reality. 

The Boogieman ran ahead of them through a scared little boy’s bedroom. A few seconds later, the Ghostbusters came careening through. 

The little boy’s day was made.

“Yeah, do it! You get him, Ghostbusters! Bust the Boogieman!” the kid said as he began to dance on his bed. 

The Boogieman fled the room and ran down the hall. The kid’s startled parents opened their bedroom door just in time to watch the Ghostbusters run past. Scotty started running in place by their door.

“Nothing to worry about,” he said with a smile. “The Ghostbusters have it handled.” With that, he took off at a sprint after the other Ghostbusters.

“I knew we shouldn’t have bought a house in West Hollywood,” the wife scolded her husband, who merely shrugged at her words.

The Ghostbusters chased the Boogieman throughout the house to another closed bedroom. He ripped the door off its hinges and ran through it. A teenage girl, who had been sleeping, sat up and gaped as the Ghostbusters entered her room.

“Sorry, miss!” Jim called over his shoulder as they followed the Boogieman through the closet and back into his world. Again, the Ghostbusters fell a great distance into a kind of slide. They slid down it while screaming.

“Hang on,” Scotty said.

“To what?” Jim replied. 

The ride eventually ended, and the Ghostbusters slid across more of the black and white tile floor. They landed on something red and squishy that moved as if it breathed. They lay on it in a big pile of limbs and proton packs.

“Just a layman’s opinion, Bones, but I don’t think this is going so hot,” Jim said from where he lay underneath his lover. 

Just then, ropes that were surrounding the red thing all sprang to life. They turned into hissing snakes.

“Let me get back to you,” Bones said as the snakes all huddled together, forming into a dome that surrounded them. 

“All right, so now we’re trapped,” Jim said as he tried to stand. “Should we try hitting it with our particle beams?”

“Well, I can’t promise anything,” Scotty said. “The laws of physics are different here. It could just blow us all to smithereens, or worse, react like we crossed the streams.”

“Not to mention the fact that this is the Boogieman’s domain,” Bones added. “He can use it against us.”

“Well, we can either try and take the risk, or we can stay sitting ducks for him to come back,” Hikaru said. He unholstered his thrower. “I’m kind of on the side of trying.”

Jim and Bones ducked as Hikaru and Scotty opened fire on the dome. At first nothing happened, but then it exploded like a rocket. 

Jim and Bones blinked.

“Fireworks?” Jim managed to stand upright. “Why’d the beams turn it into fireworks?”

“Why not?” was Bones’ reply.

Jim thought for a second. “Fair enough.”

Something dawned on Hikaru then. “Leonard, can you use the PKE meter to get a fix on the Boogieman’s location?”

Bones brought out the PKE meter and turned it on. He stared down at it for a second before his expression became frustrated. “No, it won’t do us any good. There’s too much activity here, I can’t get a clear reading in all of this.”

“Well, we better figure something out,” Jim said. “We might not be so lucky next time.”

“Already done,” Bones said as he turned to Scotty. “Do you have the bomb, Scotty?”

Scotty, who had it clipped to his belt, held it out to him. “Right here, although realistically it’s not high-powered enough to do any lasting damage to this place.”

“Not yet,” Bones said with a smirk. “But we’ll take care of that.”

“Can we do it some place more solid?” Hikaru said as he pointed to a bridge not too far from where they were standing. 

“Absolutely,” Bones said. He walked to the edge of the red thing and leaped towards a platform standing about four feet from its edge. He then hopped onto the next platform. Hikaru quickly followed him, followed by Scotty and then Jim. Once they crossed the platforms, they ran down one path and up another until they finally reached the bridge.

“Take off your packs,” Bones instructed as he removed his. He then began to rewire part of the bomb’s interface. The other Ghostbusters looked at each other for a second before doing as they were told. They laid them flat on the ground in a row as Bones quickly wired the bomb to his, and then wired the other packs to the bomb.

Scotty whistled. “You sure that’s going to work?”

“The statistical probability it will is good,” Bones answered.

Jim folded his arms across his chest. “Let me see if I’m following this right. You’re hooking up our proton packs to this bomb thing you and Scotty built, and then we’re going to…what exactly? Blow them up?”

“Not quite the way I would have explained it, but basically, yes,” Bones said as he continued to work. “We’ll set the packs on simultaneous overload. The resulting hyperspatial implosion should close off the Boogieman’s realm to Earth permanently.”

Jim buried his face in his hands. “Four proton packs on a _pro bono_ case, plus the money for the apartment’s rent and the security deposit, plus the stuff for the apartment, and the gas while we were looking for it…”

Scotty gave Jim’s shoulder a squeeze. “We’ve still got some of the money from the French Government. We’ll be fine.”

Hikaru ignored both of them. “Let’s set it and get out of here, if the Boogieman finds us while we’re defenseless…”

“We get the picture,” came Jim’s muffled reply.

Bones set the bomb to detonate. “Okay, we’re set. Like I said, put them on overload.”

All of the Ghostbusters hit the overload button on the bottom of the back of the packs. A noise whirred through the air that sounded suspiciously like a countdown.

“Let’s go! We need to get the hell out of here!” Bones said as he began to run. The running didn’t last long; the Boogieman found them and was advancing down the path toward the Ghostbusters. 

“Run,” Bones said. “Get out of here. I’ll hold him off.”

“Oh yeah?” Jim said with a startled look on his face. “You and what Starfleet?”

The Boogieman hissed and grinned as he advanced on Bones. Bones swallowed and took two steps towards him.

“Leonard!” Scotty cried out.

“You won’t scare me again, or anyone else like me,” Bones said.

The Boogieman laughed. “ **We’ll see about that. After I finish tearing you to pieces, Little Leonard McCoy, I’ll go back to the Carter children.** ”

At his words, a door opened. Through the light, the Ghostbusters could make out that it was the Carters’ bedroom. Miri and Tommy sat up in their beds and took in the sight before them.

“Oh no,” Miri said. “Tommy, we have to help them.”

“I can’t,” Tommy said back. “I’m too scared.”

“But if you’re not scared, he can’t get you,” Miri told him. “We have to be brave and help the Ghostbusters. They helped us.”

“ **Watch as I put an end to your so-called heroes** ,” the Boogieman said to the kids. He then gave Bones his full attention. 

Tommy got an idea. He grabbed a large bag full of marbles sitting on his bedside table. He then, along with his sister, walked through the closet and into the Boogieman’s realm.

“Hey, Boogieman,” Miri called. “You don’t scare us.”

“Yeah, you’re…you’re too dumb looking,” Tommy stuttered.

“And your breath stinks,” Miri added.

“And your hair is gross,” Tommy said.

The Boogieman stared at the kids before snarling. 

“Miri, Tommy, get out of here!” Bones said. “Run!”

The Boogieman began to advance on the kids. Tommy tossed the marbles in front of him, and he slipped on one. He fell off the narrow path down far below.

The humming of the proton packs and bomb began to reach a fever pitch. Bones looked back at the Ghostbusters. “Come on, we’ve only got seconds left,” he shouted. “Let’s go!” He ran towards the kids, scooping both of them up in his arms and sprinting into their bedroom. The other Ghostbusters all ran after him; they dove through the door, loudly impacting on the wood floor. 

“What the hell…” Mister Cater said as he entered the room. He stared at the world he saw in the closet. “You again, what are you…”

“Duck!” Bones shouted.

An explosion rung out in the closet, which filled the room with fire and smoke. Bones stayed covering the kids as suddenly the smoke and flame got sucked back into the closet. After a few seconds of that, the closet went dark before reverting back to normal. 

Mister Carter, who had hid behind the door, stared in shock. “What was that?”

From where he sat in the corner, Jim smiled. “That, Mister Carter, was the Boogieman saying bye-bye.”

Bones stood and went over to the closet. He pulled out his trusty PKE meter and switched it on.

Nothing happened.

“It’s over,” he said with a little wonder in his voice. “The Boogieman’s realm is sealed. Permanently.”

Miri and Tommy stood and looked imploringly at their father. “Now do you believe us?” she asked.

Mister Carter smiled down at his children. “I’ll believe anything you say from now on.” He turned his attention back to the Ghostbusters. “And I owe the four of you an apology as well.”

“It’s nothing, sir,” Scotty said as he brushed off the knees of his coveralls. “All in a night’s work.”

“Well, at least let me compensate you for the trouble,” Mister Carter said. Jim gave the other three a look that promised murder and unholy terror if any of them refused. 

Bones placed a hand in Miri’s hair. “The important thing is you’ll sleep soundly from now on, kids.”

“Thank you so much,” Miri said, and her eyes shone from unshed tears. Tommy hugged Paddington and smiled.

\-----

Thankfully, the Boogieman struck earlier that night, and it was only about two am when the Ghostbusters left the Carters’, caught a cab all the way out to Berkeley where Ecto-1 was parked, and then drove all the way back into San Francisco to go home. 

Now they stood before their lockers as they stripped out of their coveralls. 

“We’re not the only ones who’ll sleep soundly tonight,” Bones said as he hung up his blue and gray suit. Underneath it he wore a green shirt, darker green suspenders, and brown slacks. 

“Yeah,” Hikaru said as he smoothed out his t-shirt and jeans. “Kids everywhere can rest easy knowing that the Boogieman’s never going to harass them again.”

Scotty, who wore a gray shirt under a red sweater vest and jeans, smiled. “Aye. We’ve done good, lads.”

Jim, who was in a dark blue long sleeved shirt and jeans, sighed. “And all it cost us was one month’s rent, one security deposit, and four proton packs. Oh, and cab fare. And a full tank of gas.”

Hikaru and Scotty gave Jim a look that screamed the words _Debbie Downer_. Bones put a hand on his back with an affectionate expression. 

“I’m too wired to sleep, I think,” Hikaru said. “Anyone want to catch a late movie on Netflix?”

“Let’s have a drink and watch a horror movie,” Scotty agreed. He clapped Hikaru on the shoulder and began to head up the stairs. 

“We _live_ horror movies,” Hikaru protested as he followed him, leaving Jim and Bones alone on the first floor. Jim raised an eyebrow and pulled Bones close. 

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you,” Bones said as he kissed Jim. “I’m sorry.”

Jim kissed him back. “I know.” He wrapped his arms around him. “Bed?”

“Tired?” Bones said as he grabbed his hand.

Jim clucked his tongue. “I said bed, not sleep.”

“Fair enough,” Bones conceded as they walked up the stairs to their bedroom. The sound of quiet and good-natured bickering could be heard from the living room. Jim nudged their door open with his hip and pulled Bones into the dark room. They kissed again, more earnestly this time as Bones walked Jim backwards to the bed. Jim broke the kiss to pull his shirt over his head and toss it into the corner. 

Bones smiled and eagerly plundered his mouth again. He pushed Jim, who fell on the bed with a grin. Bones straddled his hips and kissed him again.

Suddenly, Jim broke the kiss. “Bones?”

Bones bent down and began to nibble on Jim’s neck. He bit on a spot in particular that drove Jim especially crazy. 

“Bones.”

Growling a little, Bones continued to suck and kiss on Jim’s throat. That is, until Jim pushed him away.

“What the---“

“Bones,” Jim said, and the look on his face was oddly furious. “I’m laying in a pool of slime.”

_Oh._

“Oh,” Bones said as he reached a hand down next to Jim’s arm. Sure enough, it came away covered in green ectoplasm. “Chekov?”

The expression Jim wore was of barely controlled fury the likes of which Bones had seldom seen. “ _Chekov_ ,” he hissed. “That little piece of shit.”

Bones shook his head for a second before kissing Jim again; Jim allowed it this time, but he didn’t kiss back. 

“I mean it, Bones, I’m going to bust the hell out of him,” Jim said when it ended. 

Bones raised an eyebrow. “Or we could take a shower, and I could wash your hair and your back for you.” He kissed him again. “And then pound you into the wall, hard and slow.”

Jim didn’t look convinced, but he did look less angry. “I can’t have both?”

Bones sat back on his haunches and sighed. “Jim, you can’t put Chekov in the containment unit. He’s the only…”

“The only ghost that will sit still for your experiments, I know. I wasn’t planning on putting him in the containment, just putting him in a trap with a rock on it until the morning.” Jim sat up with a grimace; ectoplasm by its nature was a very cold substance until it dried, when it would just become itchy. All of them got slimed, it was part of the job, but Jim seemed to attract it more than the others. “You should let me bust him, and then we can have all the hot shower sex in the history of showers.”

Bones folded his arms. “You’re not going to let this drop.”

“He slept on _our bed_ , Bones,” Jim said. “He knows he’s not allowed in this room, and he came in here, and he _fucking slept on our bed_.” Jim stood and went over to the table, which was covered with some of Bones’ gadgets. He grabbed a ghost trap from the pile and got a wicked grin on his face. He then placed the trap in front of the door, placing his hand on the lever mechanism. “Hey Chekov! We’ve got pizza!”

It only took a few seconds, but a green glowing teenage boy appeared by passing through their door. His hair was curly, and his clothes dated back to the early 20th century. “Pizza?” he asked in a thick Russian accent.

Jim’s smile turned decidedly evil as he slammed down the control of the trap. It opened and a blinding white light filled the room; Chekov screamed as he was sucked into it. It only took a few seconds, and then the trap automatically closed behind him. 

“Heh,” Jim said. The trap smoked, and true to his word, Jim placed a heavy piece of machinery on top of it. The sounds of muffled complaining came from the trap, but Jim shrugged and instead picked it up off the floor. “I’m going to put this on Jan’s desk, so it doesn’t disturb us for the rest of the night. You go ahead and get the shower running; I’m looking forward to getting pounded.”

“Leave her a note so she doesn’t put him in the grid,” Bones said as he began to pull off the bedclothes.

“…Fine. Though our food bill would thank me for it,” Jim said as he headed down the stairs. Bones watched him go with a smile before turning his attention back to the bed.

Best to change the sheets now instead of trying to after the shower.


	3. Citizen Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once upon a time, the Ghostbusters acquired a ghost named Chekov. This is how that happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story of how ghost!Chekov came to live with the Ghostbusters. It is also the story of how Jim and Bones decided to be together. Based on the episode "Citizen Ghost" from the Real Ghostbusters.
> 
> "Нет, только не снова," is Russian for "no, not again." "Ебать да" is Russian for "fuck yeah!"

Janice Rand blew bubbles and typed up the invoices for Ghostbusters, Inc. with breakneck speed. It was a slow day so far; no calls yet, so the guys worked in the lab upstairs. Leonard and Scotty explained it to her (something about trans-dimensional and portals, whatever that meant), and so far there had been only two explosions.

The front door opened, and a woman stepped inside. She had long wavy dark brown hair and wore an expensive black suit. Her make up was flawless, and her nails were perfectly manicured. Janice vaguely recognized her, but she couldn’t say from where or what. Janice popped the bubble and chewed. “May I help you?”

The woman smiled. “Yes. Tonia Barrows with KNTV news. I have an appointment to interview Doctor James T. Kirk. You must be Janice Rand.”

Oh right. “Well, if I must, I must. Although I’d much rather be Scarlett Johansson, all things considered.” Janice smiled as Ms. Barrows blinked in confusion. A low rumbling sounded throughout the firehouse. “He’s upstairs in the lab.”

“Thank you,” Ms. Barrows said as she walked to the stairs. 

“Wait,” Janice called. “You can’t go up there.”

Barrows raised an eyebrow. “You just told me…”

“I know what I told you, but you can’t go up there just yet.” Janice checked the clock on her desk. “At least not for thirty seconds.”

Putting her hands on her hips, Barrows frowned. “I’m a journalist. I have a job to do, and I’m here to interview Doctor Kirk. If you wouldn’t mind…”

The ceiling shook, and pieces of paint and drywall fell from it. A loud boom sounded throughout the firehouse. Barrows’ eyes went wide as she stared up the staircase in alarm.

“ _Now_ you can go upstairs,” Janice said with a flourish.

Barrows sighed. “Thanks, I suppose.” She walked up the stairs with a shell-shocked expression.

\------

“Good job, Bones,” Jim said as he brushed some drywall out of his hair. “I think people in the Napa Valley felt that one. You want to try to blow up Big Sur next?”

“Fuck off, Jim,” Bones said from where he lay half under the machine. “Science is trial and error.”

Jim put his hands in his pockets. “Right. Trial and error, not property damage.”

Scotty handed Bones a screwdriver. “I think if we recalibrate the positron matrix, that should fix her.”

Bones slid out from under it; he had a grease stain on one check and a flashlight in between his teeth. “Yeah,” he said around the light. “Get me the small Phillips head.” He didn’t elaborate further, but it didn’t matter. Scotty got him the right tool.

Hikaru brushed the dust off his shoulders. “You two don’t even really know what this is supposed to be. If we’re going to be blown to smithereens, can we at least know by what?”

“It’s a transdimensional gateway,” Bones said. “What we’ll be able to do is send the ghosts back to their own dimension, instead of just jailing them in the containment unit indefinitely.” He slid back under the machine. “It’s more compassionate.”

Jim sighed. “And cheaper for the customers,” he grumbled.

A timid knock sounded on the door as it was pushed open. The three standing Ghostbusters turned to face it; Tonia Barrows stuck her head around the corner. “…Hi,” she said. She brightened when she saw Jim. “You must be Doctor Kirk. I’m Tonia Barrows from KNTV. We have an appointment.”

Jim blinked before he pulled out his iPhone. Oh, shit. He’d forgotten. “Well, if I must, I must. Although I’d rather be...”

“If you don’t mind,” the reporter said. “I’ve already driven off that bridge once today.”

“…Tom Hiddleston,” Jim finished. “Right, anyways,” he said as he turned to the other Ghostbusters. “You guys okay with this?”

“We got it,” Scotty said with a smile. Sulu also smiled. “Go ahead.”

“I’ll see you later, Jim,” Bones said from under the machine. 

He gestured to the lady. “My office is downstairs,” he said. “Let’s go.”

Nodding with a grateful look, they walked back down the stairs and to Jim’s open office on the landing between the first and second floors. Jim plopped down in the chair behind his desk, as Ms. Barrows took the seat across from him. 

“Would you care for something to drink, Ms. Barrows?” Jim asked. “Water or…well…all we have is water and beer, I think.”

“It’s Tonia, and I’m fine,” she said as she took out a tape recorder and a notepad from her purse.

“Tonia it is,” Jim said with a grin. “So you want to interview me for a history of the Ghostbusters.”

“That’s about the size of it,” she said with a smile, and Jim noticed that her eyes were a dark navy blue. If she had shown up just a year earlier, he’d be well on his way to hitting on her by now. 

Oh well.

A green glowing boy of about seventeen appeared next to Jim. He wore clothes that couldn’t have been more recent than the early twentieth century.

Tonia gasped. “Oh. You must be Chekov.”

“If I must,” the ghost said in a thick Russian accent.

Jim waved his hand. “Save it, Checkers, she’s already heard it twice.”

“Oh,” Chekov said with a disappointed frown. He hovered next to Jim.

“Well…” Tonia said. “Since he’s here…isn’t it a bit strange for a ghost to take up residency with four men who bust ghosts for a living?”

Jim folded his hands behind his head. “Strange. Weird. Eccentric. Sick. Disturbing. All of those adjectives and more about cover it.” Chekov’s expression changed to that of a wounded puppy’s. “But there’s a good reason why he’s here actually.”

Tonia hit play on her tape recorder. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” Jim looked at Chekov with a smile. “It all started after our biggest case…”

\-----

_A year and some change ago…_

The four Ghostbusters stood staring at their headquarters with shell-shocked expressions.

“I knew it was bad,” Hikaru said, “but this is…good lord.”

When Gary Mitchell and his EPA goons invaded Ghostbusters HQ and pulled the plug on the containment unit, they all felt the explosion. However, in the ensuing chaos and struggle to stop Gozer, they had no time to properly assess the damage.

There was a hole in the second floor, and looking up into that there was a giant hole in the roof. Chunks of plaster came off the walls, and everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. It would take weeks to repair the damage, if not months. 

“Well, honestly, If we get started right away, and use some elbow grease, plus a fresh coat of paint, it won’t be too hard,” Scotty said with a smile. “We’ll be back in ship-shape in no time.”

Jim furrowed his brows and stared at Scotty. “Are you fucking high?”

“Or just delusional,” Bones added as he tried to pull some of the marshmallow off his suit. “I’ll have to start over again with the containment, but I think this time I’ll make it bigger. Of course, that’s second on the agenda.” He opened his locker, and the door fell off.

“Okay, Bones. I’ll bite.” Jim also tried to pull some of the marshmallow out of his hair. Fuck, he needed to shower. “What’s the first thing?”

“Burning our uniforms,” Bones said. “They’ve absorbed a startling amount of psychokinetic energy from our battle with Gozer. They need to be destroyed immediately.”

“About that,” Janice said as she picked up a large box. She blew dust off it. “This came literally as you went to fight Gozer. It’s your new uniforms.” She lifted the lid, and sure enough, the new custom coveralls sat inside. On top was a red pair that said _Scott_ on the name patch. 

“Finally, some good news,” Jim sighed. He pulled out a green pair that read _Sulu_ , handing it to Hikaru. Next was a blue set that read _McCoy_. Again, Jim handed it to Bones. Finally, there was a gold pair that read _Kirk_. 

“Great, aren’t they?” Janice said with a grin.

Scotty held his up to his body. “They’re custom tailored, so they’ll fit better at least.”

“Yeah these are kinda snug in the crotch,” Jim added, and everyone else rolled their eyes at him. “That’s not a dick thing, I’m just taller than most pilots.” He looked at Bones, who had already started to change. “Bones is the same height and…” He trailed off; Bones didn’t have on a shirt under his uniform, and Jim swallowed. “I mean…we’re tall, and that’s a…like…something.”

Bones stared at him. “Are you having a stroke?”

“What?” Jim clutched his new uniform over his crotch. “No I just…”

“Never mind,” Bones pulled down the beige suit, kicking his legs free of it without removing his combat boots. He wore a pair of green silk boxers, and Jim’s mouth went dry. Feeling guilty about ogling his friend, he averted his eyes down to the floor. “You all should change too,” Bones said, and Scotty started to follow suit. Hikaru gave Janice a look.

“Oh whatever,” Janice said. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen; your lockers are right there, for Christ’s sake.”

“Fair enough,” Hikaru said as he unzipped his suit. 

Jim still clutched his new coveralls in front of him. It wasn’t to hide his half-erection or anything. No, why would he do that? “I’m gonna…upstairs…yeah.” He turned and bolted up the stairs to his room, slamming what was left of the door behind him. He leaned against it with wide eyes.

Okay so…Bones nearly getting killed by Gozer did something to him. It loosened a wire in his brain, or maybe it made him notice something that had been dormant within him. He took one look at Bones hanging off the edge of the roof, and it was like the light within him died. He barely managed to help him back up, his hands had trembled so much. At the time, he couldn’t really focus on it because of oh yeah the Class Ten Demonic Entity threatening to destroy first San Francisco and then the world. 

They defeated Gozer only by crossing the streams, which had also terrified Jim, destroying her (it?) in the process. The Stay Puft Marshmallow man went with Gozer, which was why they were still all hot and sticky.

Hot and sticky.

A vision sprung into Jim’s mind of Bones with the white creamy marshmallow stuck to his face. Jim bit his bottom lip; being a psychologist had the unfortunate side effect of making him analyze everything. So Jim wasn’t stupid enough to not know he was imagining that instead of marshmallow, it was come on Bones’ cheek. Jim’s come, specifically. 

Jim groaned, leaning his head back into his door. Almost losing Bones was one thing, but now Bones was turning him on.

Holy shit! Bones could turn him on!

Bones _had_ turned him on. Jim closed his eyes as his heart beat frantically in his chest. He held the new coveralls to him like a security blanket. The thought of losing Bones was enough to ruin him, but on top of that Jim wanted sex with him. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like sex with Bones was all he’d ever want.

All he wanted, no all he ever _needed_ stood before him for a decade. “I’m in love with Bones,” Jim whispered. “I’m in love with Bones.”

All of the times they spent together, how Bones was the only one Jim fully trusted...all of this came rushing into his mind, and Jim groaned out loud. Bones understood him more than anyone, and likewise Jim got Bones.

He dropped the coveralls to the floor. Jim closed his eyes and breathed in, out, once. 

Well wait a second. This wasn’t catastrophic. Jim was the only person who could bring Bones back down to Earth when he went off on one of his science tangents. Sometimes Jim was the only one keeping him from just living in the lab for days at a time without food or sleep. Not even Scotty could pull him back from that, but Jim _could_.

“I can make him love me,” Jim said. “I can…” A knock sounded, and Jim started and opened the remnants of his door.

Bones stood on the other side in his new suit, and the blue made him look incredibly appealing. “Is everything all right?”

“I…” Jim fought to keep from blurting out his feelings. “Yeah, I just didn’t want to change in front of Jan. I…commando. I went commando today.” It was a lie, but he didn’t think Bones would call him on it.

Bones rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he said, but it was good-natured. “Good thing we didn’t get slimed.”

Jim blanched; slime on Jim Junior…oh God, no. “We got marshmallowed, which I think is worse…” Jim trailed off, taking a look around the room. “Do you feel that?”

“Feel what?” Bones said with a curious look.

“Like something’s watching us,” Jim said. He looked around the room; there was a movement in the corner of his eye. “Like right…” He scanned the shadows, but nothing was there. “Huh. I must be imagining things.”

“With everything that’s happened in the past thirty-six hours, I think being on edge is understandable,” Bones said with a gentle smile, and Jim’s heart fluttered. “None of us have slept in that time, either, or eaten.”

Eating. Jim swallowed. “About that,” he began, and his brain was half shouting _go for it_ while the other half screamed _what the fuck are you doing_. “Do you want to go out? To dinner, I mean.”

Bones raised an eyebrow. “What, like just us?”

“Yeah.” Jim picked the coveralls up off the floor so he didn’t have to meet Bones’ gaze. “We live together and work together, but I feel like we’re not really spending time together.” He chanced a look up at Bones; his eyes looked soft and hopeful.

It faded, and Bones adopted a more normal expression. “Sure, Jim. That’d be nice.”

Again, Jim’s heart fluttered. “Oh. Great!” He smiled at Bones. “That’s…that’s great.”

Bones smiled back before clearing his throat. “I’ll let you change. Burn the old suits when you get downstairs.”

“Okay,” Jim said, and Bones turned and walked towards his own bedroom. Jim pulled off the beige suit, wadding it up into a ball. He then put on the new gold coveralls, zipping it up with a flourish. There was a full-length mirror in Jim’s room, and while it was now cracked, he could see enough to tell he looked good. 

He grabbed his old suit and took it downstairs.

\-----

The day flew by, with Bones and Scotty drafting up plans for the new containment unit. Before Jim realized what happened, it was seven pm. He took a quick shower and changed into a navy suit with a light pink shirt. He knocked on Bones’ door, and Bones told him to come in.

“Reservation’s for eight, we better start heading…” Jim stared at the scene before him. Bones also changed and showered; his hair was neatly parted, and he wore a black suit with a shirt the color of goldenrods. A black and gold tie sat at his throat, and he wore his tortoiseshell reading glasses. “Wow.”

Bones’ face was similarly shell-shocked. He shook his head a few times. “I was worried I over-dressed,” he said.

“Me too,” Jim admitted. He ran a hand through his hair. “Um, do the guys need Ecto you think? Or can we…”

“I think we’re okay,” Bones said. They walked past the living room and kitchen, where Scotty and Hikaru argued good-naturedly over what take out to order. They approached the stairs, and Hikaru whistled loudly.

“Where are you two off to dressed like that?” Hikaru said.

“Did someone die?” Scotty added.

Jim and Bones looked at each other, and Jim felt the unmistakable beginnings of a blush form on his cheeks. “No we’re…we’re just going out the two of us.”

Scotty and Hikaru exchanged a look. It went on for a while, and Jim started to fidget from nerves. Scotty smirked, and Hikaru smiled.

“It’s about bloody time,” Scotty said as he glanced at the menu in his hands.

“Just don’t be too late, kids,” Hikaru said. “We have a nine am tomorrow.”

They went back to debating the finer points of sushi versus pizza, leaving Jim outright humiliated. They slinked off down the stairs and to the car; Jim jogged ahead of Bones and opened the passenger door for him. Bones gave him a strange look but got in the passenger seat. Jim stepped to the driver’s side and got in.

He didn’t put the keys in the ignition, though. He sat and stared ahead. If he focused, it looked like there was something green by Janice’s desk. 

“So…” Bones said, breaking the silence. “This _is_ a date.”

Jim started and looked at him. “Yeah.”

The look on Bones’ face was hesitant. “Is this because Nyota ended up with Spock?”

Jim started the car. “No.”

“Have you run out of women in the Bay Area, then?” Bones continued, and the tone of his voice was self-deprecating. 

Jim sighed; this line of questioning wasn’t undeserved. Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas. “I want you, Bones, for you. Not because I’m out of other choices or because I’m bored or got shot down.” He backed Ecto out of the garage and onto Oak. “I want _you_. Okay?”

Bones didn’t say anything, but he did stare at Jim for a while as he drove. “So. Can I know where we’re going?”

“Acquerello,” Jim answered without taking his eyes off the road. He turned Ecto onto Van Ness. 

“…You’re taking me on a date to Acquerello?” Now Bones sounded confused.

“What’s wrong with it? We can’t really back out of our reservation if you don’t like it, Bones, I had to name drop the mayor…”

“I’m not objecting,” Bones said. “I’m just…it’s expensive.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Look, I know it’s fun to pick on me for being cheap but really?”

Bones winced. “No, that…you’re right I shouldn’t pick on you for that tonight. Sorry, Jim.” He sighed. “I just…I don’t know how to react to this, is all.”

Jim frowned. “Is it really so hard to believe?” Before Bones could answer, they arrived at the restaurant. The valets opened the doors for them, and they stepped out onto the pavement. Jim handed over the keys, and they made their way into the building. Jim had a quick conversation with the hostess, and they were shown to their table. It sat in an intimate corner, and Bones took the chair while Jim sat in the booth seat. 

“It is kind of hard to believe,” Bones admitted. 

“Why?” Jim couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice.

Bones looked at him, and the expression on his face was incredibly open and earnest. “Because I’ve wanted you for so long and you never…well. It just seemed like it wasn’t happening,” he finished, drawing his eyes down to the tablecloth.

Jim swallowed, and his heart flip-flopped. “Why didn’t you ever say…?” The waiter came to their table, and Jim stalled his words. “Hi.”

“Welcome to Acquerello,” he said. “Tonight we’re featuring a seasonal pre fixe menu that consists of nine courses, and we offer a wine pairing with it, which is $95. We also have our classic tasting menu for more traditional Italian fare, as well as a regular pre fixe which can be three, four, or five courses.”

Jim looked at Bones. “Which sounds good to you?”

Bones looked down at the menu. “I’m leaning toward the seasonal, but…”

“Two seasonals,” Jim said with a grin to the waiter. “And we’ll also do the wine pairings. Thanks.”

“Excellent choice,” the server said. “I’ll put your orders in right away.” With that, he took their menus and left.

Jim looked at Bones, who picked at his cuticles. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Because until today I had no idea you’d be open to having anything with me,” Bones said. “You always went after skirts. And…I know how hard it was for you to trust me in the beginning. I didn’t want to come across like I betrayed that trust.”

Jim smiled. “You wouldn’t have. I would have been surprised, but I wouldn’t have felt betrayed.” He reached across the table and took Bones’ hands in his. “Maybe I would have caught on without you having to take a header off a roof.” 

“So we’re only doing this because I nearly died.”

“What? No.” Jim frowned. “You almost dying is why I finally realized how I feel, but it’s not why I asked you out. I asked you out because I want to be with you.” Jim smirked. “For someone who has three doctorates, you’re being really stupid right now.”

Bones frowned and raised an eyebrow. “It’s really that simple?”

“It is really that simple,” Jim said. “I don’t just want you tonight. I…” He swallowed as he steeled himself to say it. “I want you always,” he said huskily. 

Bones flushed. He let go of one of Jim’s hands and pulled at his collar, just as their server returned with their first glasses of wine. Jim nodded at him in thanks. 

Bones took a long sip of the wine. “I’m being ridiculous.”

“A little,” Jim said. “I mean, I can’t entirely fault you for the disbelief. Until your strip show back at the firehouse, I didn’t realize I could go for you either.” He picked up his glass and peered down into the liquid. “Or maybe I’m just Bones-sexual.”

Bones snorted. “I’ll save the lecture on why that’s not a real thing.”

“You can turn off being a scientist anytime now,” Jim quipped. “Look at how easy it is for me.”

Bones snorted a second time. “We’re supposed to be having a nice time, so I won’t comment on that. But if this is a date, you need to quit soft-balling the openings for insults in my direction.”

“But I like our banter,” Jim said. “I mean think about it; it’s practically verbal foreplay,” he said with a leer.

Rolling his eyes, Bones shook his head. “I should have seen that coming.”

Jim stroked the back of Bones’ hand with his thumb; it felt nice. Bones’ skin was soft. “Yeah, but I don’t think you mind that much.”

“Maybe not,” Bones admitted. He reached out his own thumb and rubbed it across Jim’s wrist, and Jim fought down a shiver. “I kind of can’t believe Scotty and Hikaru’s reactions.”

Jim chuckled. “The bastards think they know everything. They’re in for it when we start keeping them up every night with loud, wall-breaking sex.”

Bones again pulled on his collar and loosened the knot of his tie. His face also turned red.

Jim grinned. “You’re flustered. That’s adorable.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Bones said with a scowl.

“I make you flustered,” Jim continued. “That’s so cute. I had no idea.”

The look on Bones’ face turned evil. “And apparently I make you need to run and make up stories about going commando just because I take my clothes off.” Jim swallowed, and his grip tightened on Bones’ hand out of reflex. Their first course arrived; it was the chef’s whim, and Jim looked at it with a curious expression.

“Veal Carpaccio,” the sever said, “and truffle ‘caviar’.” 

“It’s fine, thanks,” Bones said. Jim continued to stare at it as the server left. “I feel I should point out that Carpaccio is raw meat.”

Jim looked up at Bones in alarm. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah.” Bones put some on his fork and ate it. His eyes lit up. “This is outstanding.”

Jim stared down at the food on his plate. Feeling a need to impress Bones, he also put some on his fork, making sure to get some of that truffle stuff. He took a bite and chewed. 

Actually…it _was_ outstanding.

Jim washed it down with a sip of wine, and Bones gave him a fond look. “Trying new things isn’t so bad, is it?” Bones teased, his voice rich. 

Jim swallowed. “No, I can’t say that it’s bad,” Jim said, and he realized Bones wasn’t talking about the food. “It’s not bad at all. It’s pretty damn good.”

Bones’ face flushed a third time, and he bit back a smile. 

They talked and ate well into the night, and before long it was time to go. Jim paid the check, although he kept his freak out over the bill to himself. They drove back to the firehouse, and when they arrived the only light was the lamp on Janice’s desk. Together they walked up the stairs; the living room and kitchen were dark, and cracks of light pooled from underneath Scotty and Hikaru’s closed doors. 

Jim walked Bones to his bedroom, and together they stood by the doorway.

“So…” Jim said as he put his hands in his pockets. “This was great.”

“It was,” Bones said as he pushed his door open with his hip. It was hard to see in the light, but it looked like Bones debated with himself before he said, “Want to come in?”

Jim swallowed and stopped wringing his hands. “You’re God damn right I do.”

Bones smiled and gestured for Jim to enter the room; Jim did, and Bones followed, shutting the door and locking it behind him. The only light in the room was a nightlight Bones kept in an outlet by his closet. 

They stood before each other, neither of them knowing what to say. Jim took a deep breath and closed the distance, tentatively sliding his mouth across Bones’. Bones sighed and put his hands on Jim’s shoulders as Jim wrapped his arms around Bones’ waist. It felt right, so Jim opened his mouth, inviting Bones to deepen the kiss. Bones moaned into it and slid his tongue into Jim’s mouth. Jim let go of Bones’ waist to reach up and undo his tie, pulling it from around his neck. It didn’t take long for him to unbutton the shirt, and he pulled it free of Bones’ trousers. Bones slid the jacket down Jim’s shoulders, dropping it onto the floor. 

Jim broke the kiss and panted. “Holy shit,” he said as Bones chuckled. He returned the favor, pulling off both Bones’ jacket and shirt. The clothing pooled at their feet. “There is something, though, and if you laugh I swear to God…”

“And break a habit of a decade?” Bones looked innocent. Jim glared at him, causing Bones to sigh. “All right, I won’t laugh. What’s up?”

Jim bit his bottom lip and looked down at the floor. “I’ve…I’ve never before…with a man, I mean…I haven’t…”

Bones’ eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, um…well we don’t…we can…”

“No,” Jim said as he shook his head. “No, I want to. I just…have you?”

“Yeah,” Bones said. “Jim, I mean it. We don’t have to…”

“Mmm, yeah I think we do,” Jim said. “I mean, the date was wonderful, but I feel like if we don’t take this step, it’s not as real. We do this and we can’t go back. I don’t _want_ us to go back.” He smiled. “I want to move forward with you.”

Bones nodded. “Okay.” He resumed kissing Jim, pressing their bodies close to each other. Jim’s shirt joined their clothes on the floor, and they broke apart long enough to strip off their undershirts and slacks. Bones took Jim’s hands and pulled him towards his bed. They lay on it together, and they kissed each other eagerly. Bones ran his hands down Jim’s chest, caressing his stomach. Jim sighed and spread his legs, allowing Bones to slot himself in between them. Bones’ boxers were black silk, and Jim slid a hand down the fabric to caress Bones’ ass. He could feel Bones’ erection against his hip, and Jim’s own throbbed in his briefs. 

Bones reached down and started to pull the briefs away from Jim’s body. “Is this okay?” he asked.

Jim nodded. “Yeah.” He lifted his hips off the bed, enabling Bones to pull them down his legs. Bones pulled them over his feet, tossing them across the room. Bones lay in between his legs again, and the silk rubbed against Jim’s bare cock, causing him to cry out. “ _Oh_ , oh fuck.”

Bones growled in his throat as he reached into his nightstand drawer. He set something on the edge of the table before reaching in and fishing another item out of it. Jim looked at him with furrowed brows. “What…?” Bones picked up the tube and the packet; it was a condom and lubricant. Jim bit his bottom lip and lowered his gaze, feeling unaccountably shy. 

“I need to get you ready, darlin’,” Bones whispered. “Or else it’s going to be more pain than pleasure.”

Jim met Bones’ gaze again and nodded. “Do it.”

Bones leaned down and kissed him again, nipping at Jim’s bottom lip. He uncapped the lube, squeezing some of it onto his right hand. He spread it across his fingers, and he slid his hand between their bodies to Jim’s ass. A finger circled Jim’s hole, and he bent his legs at the knees. Bones pushed the tip of the finger into him, and Jim held his breath.

“Does this hurt?” Bones asked.

Jim wriggled a little from the sensation. “No, just…it feels weird, but it doesn’t hurt.” Bones pushed the finger in farther, and Jim gasped. It still wasn’t painful; he needed to get used to it. 

Above him, Bones furrowed his brows like he was searching for something. “I think it’s…” He pressed into something that made Jim arch up and gasp. 

“Oh shit,” Jim said as his eyes flew open.

“There we are,” Bones said as he pressed into it a second time, and Jim cried out, not caring if Scotty and Hikaru heard him. Bones slid his finger in and out a few more times before adding a second finger. Jim dug his fingers into Bones’ shoulders and squeezed his eyes shut.

Now the pain started. Jim fought to regulate his breathing as Bones pressed into that spot with both fingers. It felt good, but it also hurt. “Are you okay?” 

“Keep going,” Jim said, and his voice shook. “Keep going.”

“All right,” Bones said as he kissed Jim’s forehead. He slid his fingers in and out, in and out, and the burning stopped. It felt nothing but awesome, and Jim began to arc his hips in circles with Bones’ hand. Bones took this as a sign of encouragement and added the third finger; again it stung at first, but after a few presses into that spot and a few slides, it felt better.

Jim panted into Bones’ neck. “I’m ready,” he said. “Please.”

Bones groaned and nodded. He pulled his fingers out of Jim and knelt between his legs, pushing his boxers down and off. Jim propped himself up on his elbows as he took in the sight before him; Bones was flushed, and his eyes were almost completely black. Jim swallowed as he looked at Bones’ cock, which stood hard and leaking; maybe it was the nerves, but it looked pretty big.

Bones grabbed the packet with the condom, and Jim caught his hands. “Wait. I want to…let me.” Bones nodded, and Jim took the foil from him. He tore it open, carefully so as to not damage the condom itself, and pulled it out. Jim bit his bottom lip as he rolled it onto Bones’ cock, and Bones’ breath hitched as his hands ghosted over it. Emboldened by this, Jim stroked up and down Bones’ shaft. Bones let out a loud groan that came out on the edge of a wail as Jim repeated the motion several times. Bones grabbed his wrist and kissed him hungrily, pressing his back into the mattress. Jim bent his legs a second time as Bones moved, sliding into his body.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jim said as he panted; Bones’ cock was thicker than his fingers. Jim bit his bottom lip for a different reason as Bones stretched and filled him. There came no pleasure with it that time; it just _hurt_ , and his erection deflated a bit as a result.

“Are you okay?” Bones asked into his throat.

Jim clung to his shoulders as tears formed in his eyes. “I take back any jokes I ever made about how well-endowed you are.” He relaxed his breathing, trying to get used to Bones being within him. 

Bones rumbled out a laugh. “Duly noted.” He propped himself up on his forearms and peered down at Jim’s face with concern. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

Jim nodded, still attempting to regulate his breathing. The pain lessened, and he felt like he could breathe again. “Okay. Move. _Move_.”

It took a second, but Bones obliged. He pulled out of Jim, sliding back into him. He moved slowly, painstakingly within and without Jim, almost like he thought Jim would break. Not sure of what to do, Jim wrapped a leg around Bones’ waist, trying to angle his hips so Bones would hit that spot from earlier. Bones caught onto his intentions because he asked, “There?” as he twisted his hips. 

Jim thought for a second. “Um, left I think.” Bones shifted again, and he hit it. Jim mewled, and his body trembled. “There,” he choked out. Bones nodded and kept moving the same way. The pain receded a bit; the initial thrusts still hurt, but the end result felt incredible. Jim bit back more mewls as Bones drove into him; he arched his body up, trying to get some friction on his neglected cock.

“Touch yourself,” Bones said. “It’ll make it…” He paused to groan. “…Better.”

Jim let go of Bones with his left hand, bringing it up to his face to spit in it. He reached down and pulled on his cock with long strokes. “Oh, fuck.” He didn’t stop the noises coming out of his mouth, not caring about anything except feeling Bones. He felt his orgasm build low in his stomach as he stroked his cock harder and faster. “I think I’m getting close.”

Sweat dripped down Bones’ face. “So ‘m I.” He didn’t change his pace, he kept moving as gently as he could. Jim palmed his head, running his thumb across his slit. He was so close, just a little more…

Jim shouted, outright shouted, as he came, hot and wet on Bones’ stomach. “Shit,” he gasped. His legs shook, and he held Bones as tight and close as possible. “Let go, Bones,” he said. “Let go,” he repeated, and Bones thrust harder into him. “Come on baby, I know you’re there,” Jim said as he leaned forward and licked the sweat off Bones’ clavicle. 

That was all it took as Bones stiffened and shouted, “Fuck!” Jim felt Bones’ cock pulse inside him; it wasn’t a bad feeling, it was kind of awesome in a filthy way. Jim lay flat against the bed, dropping his leg from Bones’ waist. Bones pulled out of him, and Jim sighed as he watched him stumble to his wastebasket, dropping the used condom into it. Bones came back to the bed and lay down, pulling Jim into his arms. “Are you okay?”

Jim snuggled into Bones’ throat. “I’m probably going to walk funny tomorrow, but right now I’m fine.” He stroked down Bones’ spine. “Thanks for going slow.”

“Of course,” Bones said as he kissed him; Jim sighed into it, winding one hand into Bones’ hair. They continued to kiss lazily for a while before Bones broke it. “You burned the uniforms like I asked you to, right?”

Jim blinked; he forgot. He’d been so worked up over asking Bones out it slipped his mind. They sat in a box behind what was formerly their containment unit. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”

He’d do it in the morning.

Bones smiled in the darkness. “Good.” He pulled Jim in for another kiss, as he covered Jim’s heart with a hand. The kiss ended naturally that time, and they lay together in silence.

“I think I’ll move my stuff in here,” Jim said. “Tomorrow, I mean, when the contractors come.”

Bones raised an eyebrow. “You…you’re not afraid of moving too fast?” His voice sounded hopeful.

“I’m going to be spending every night in here anyway,” Jim pointed out. He closed his eyes. “Why delay the inevitable?”

“Fair enough,” Bones said. “I’d help, but Scotty and I have a full day rebuilding the containment grid.”

“No worries.” Jim sighed and smiled, making another note to get the old uniforms before Scotty and Bones did. “Is your alarm set for ass o’clock?”

“It’s set for six like it always is,” Bones said with a roll of his eyes.

Jim blanched. “I’m going to have to get used to that again, aren’t I?”

“Mmhmm.” Bones continued to stroke his chest. 

“Fine.” Jim sat up and shifted when something green caught his eye. He squinted into the darkness. By Bones’ door stood a green ghost that looked like a teenage boy. He had curly hair, glassy eyes, and a thoroughly shocked expression on his face.

It was the ghost that slimed Jim at the Hotel Whitcomb.

Jim’s jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed to little slits. “You mother-fucker…”

“Excuse me?” Bones said with annoyance in his voice.

Jim jumped off the bed and grabbed his underwear. “I’m going to get you this time, you sack of shit!”

Bones sat up and the look on his face was irritated. “Jim what in…?” That was when he noticed the ghost. “Oh shit. Ghost!” He rolled off the bed to grab his own boxers. 

The ghost collected himself and faded through the door. Jim growled, “Oh no you fucking don’t,” as he ran towards it, flinging it open. “Ghost!” he shouted as he followed the young ghost into the common area of the firehouse. Hikaru and Scotty opened their doors with bewildered expressions. 

“Ghost?” Hikaru said, as he looked into the living room where the ghost hovered. “Ghost!”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Jim grumbled under his breath. He picked up the spare proton pack they kept on the second floor; Scotty ran over to him and grabbed the trap. Jim armed the pack and aimed.

“Нет, только не снова !” the ghost cried as he vanished into the air. 

Jim stood, still aiming the thrower at the spot he occupied. “That little…”

“Huh,” Scotty said as he put the trap back on the pack. “That’s weird. All the other ghosts made a break for it when the containment blew, but he stayed. I wonder why that is.”

“He just wants another cheap shot at me,” Jim said through clenched teeth. 

Bones put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He was eating everything in sight at the hotel,” Bones said. “Maybe he wants our food.”

Hikaru shook his head. “I think he’s lonely.”

“What?” the other three said in unison.

Running a hand through his hair, Hikaru continued. “He was completely alone at that hotel. And whenever we checked in the containment, he was off by himself. He didn’t even have any ghost buddies, and we’re probably the first people to ever pay him any attention. He probably just wants friends.”

“He’s got the worst way of showing it I’ve ever seen,” Jim said.

Bones furrowed his brows and covered his mouth with his hand. “Actually…Hikaru may have a point.”

“Oh come on, Bones, he slimed me,” Jim said.

“Because we scared him,” Bones continued. “Not maliciously.”

“I can’t believe this,” Jim said. “He’s a ghost. We bust ghosts. We don’t have sympathy for them.”

“We do sometimes,” Scotty said. “You help them cross over.”

Jim faltered. “That’s different.”

“How?” Bones and Scotty said together. Hikaru looked curious as well.

“Those are people who need help,” Jim said. “This ghost is just a shithead.”

Bones crossed his arms over his chest, and Scotty gave Jim a look. 

“Well,” Hikaru said. “He’s gone for now; there’s no point in arguing about him. If he comes back, we’ll deal with it.” He turned and made his way back to his room. “It’s late and the contractors are going to be here at seven. Let’s just go to bed.” The double meaning of his words caught his notice, and his cheeks flushed. “I mean…”

Jim and Bones looked at each other before pointedly looking away. 

Scotty snorted. “I heard you over my television, by the way. I wouldn’t have taken you for a screamer, Jim.”

Jim turned beet red. “I…” Bones coughed and looked down at the floor.

“Just, you know. Putting that out there.” Scotty said with a wicked grin as he stepped into his room. “Good night, gentlemen.” He closed the door behind him.

Hikaru ran a hand through his hair. “Well since he brought it up, you do remember we share a wall, right, Leonard?”

Jim willed the floor to swallow them whole as Bones winced. “Uh…we didn’t…”

“Hey, like Scotty said. I’m just putting it out there.” Hikaru walked into his room. “Night, guys.” His door also closed.

“And suddenly the reason why you always went back to the woman’s place is crystal clear,” Bones said as he wiped a hand down his face.

“Yeah. Um.” Jim took his hand. “Let’s go back to bed.”

“And what? Give them more to complain about?” Bones let himself be pulled back into his bedroom.

Jim blanched. “Only if I can top this time. I don’t think I’m ready for another round of Bones’ Huge Cock O’Clock.”

Bones smirked. “You know there are other things besides anal sex, right?”

Jim kicked the door closed and leered. “Oh yeah? Wanna show me?”

Bones smirked and pushed Jim so he was sitting on the bed. He then knelt between Jim’s legs. “Let’s see how loud you really get.”

And Jim could get very loud indeed.

\-----

They didn’t see the ghost again for a while after that, and Jim forgot about him. The containment was rebuilt, and as Bones suggested, it was bigger. It now took up almost the entire basement, and Bones made a point to install three back up generators just in case.

The contractors repaired the firehouse, and while Jim struggled not to cry when Janice paid their invoices, he had to admit the place never looked better. 

There was a thought that kept nagging at the back of his mind, though, like something he forgot. He could never quite recall what it was, so he figured it must not be that important.

True to his word, Jim and Bones now shared a bedroom. Jim sat on the bed as he watched Bones grab his bathroom kit for the shower. “You should come back here,” he said with a hint of lust in his voice.

“I’ve got a date in the lab,” Bones said, and Jim pouted, flopping back against the pillows. 

Not again.

“You always have a date in the lab,” Jim said, and it came out petulant. “We’ve barely seen each other not Ghostbusting for the last couple weeks.”

This made Bones pause. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Jim. “You think my inventions are more important to me than you.”

Jim hesitated. “Science is your first love. How can I compete with that?”

Bones sighed. He lay back down and gathered Jim into his arms. Jim brought his hands up and held onto his wrists. “You don’t have to compete.” Jim huffed. “I’m not placating you, Jim. There’s no competition.”

Jim turned around to face him. “Then why am I going to spend our first morning off in three weeks alone in our bed?”

Bones frowned. “You really want me to stay?”

Jim huffed a second time. “I want you to _want_ to stay.” He tried to pull back from Bones, but his hold was firm.

“I do want to stay,” Bones said, and he sounded sincere. “This project is time sensitive though; I only have those samples from Kew for a few weeks…”

Jim did pull back that time. “You were leaving me for _mold_?”

Bones grimaced. “When you put it that way, it sounds horribly insensitive and shitty.”

“That’s because it _is_ insensitive and shitty.” Jim sat up. “Fucking mold; that’s your _hobby_ , Bones.” He got out of the bed and walked over to their window. Bones got up and put his hands on his waist, but Jim shrugged them off. “I’m mad at you.”

“I think we’ve established that,” Bones said. “I’m sorry, Jim. I wasn’t thinking. Of course I want to be with you.” Jim frowned and placed his hands on the windowsill. “I’m really sorry. The samples can wait. Everything can wait.”

Jim still frowned, but his posture became less stiff. “This is a relationship, you know, and I realize I’m not an expert, but that means we do things together. Not just as Ghostbusters and not just in the sack.” He sighed. “You’re supposed to like spending time with me.”

“I love spending time with you,” Bones said. “But I’m not good at this either. We both know how my last relationship ended.”

Jim bit off expletives at the mention of Jocelyn. “I never liked her.”

“I know. I should have listened.” Bones sighed. “I am sorry, Jim. Nothing is worth upsetting you.”

Jim turned to face him; Bones’ expression was deeply sad and contrite. Against his will, his heart melted. “I don’t want to have this fight again,” he said. 

“We won’t,” Bones answered. “I promise.”

Jim nodded. “Okay.” He leaned forward, and they kissed, long and sweet.

Until the alarm went off, that is.

“Oh come on,” Jim said under his breath, causing Bones to chuckle. “I’m going to set her on fire.”

“You know she wouldn’t unless it was an emergency,” Bones said as he took Jim by the hand, leading him out their room. 

Jim growled. “She somehow knew and did it just to spite me. I swear I should fire her.”

“Jim,” Bones admonished, and Jim sighed.

“Fine, I won’t fire her.” They hurried down the pole, where Scotty and Hikaru stood by the lockers changing into their coveralls. “What’s the call, Jan?”

“It’s Janice,” she said as typed an address into their company iPhone. 

Jim stopped mid-change. “You let the others call you Jan.”

“I like them better than you,” Janice shot back. “They don’t threaten to dock my pay every second. Not that you pay me at all.”

Jim put his hands on his hips. “If you didn’t sass me constantly…”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Janice interrupted. “It’s at Six Gallery. She thinks it’s Allen Ginsberg.”

Hikaru took the phone from Janice and pulled up the address in the GPS. “Wouldn’t his ghost be in New York?”

“Not necessarily,” Scotty said. “Ghosts flock to places that held meaning for them when they were alive. The Six Gallery reading kicked off Ginsberg’s obscenity hearing, so it makes sense he’d feel tied to it.”

“I guess so,” Hikaru said. “Oh well.”

They all wore their gear, and they hopped into Ecto. Hikaru turned on the sirens, and they drove throughout the city to their destination. It was a relatively short trip, but with morning traffic it took about twenty minutes. Hikaru double-parked Ecto in front of the building, and the four Ghostbusters grabbed their proton packs, making their way inside.

Six Gallery was a showroom now, and no customers were inside. It was easy to tell who called them by the terrified look on her face. “He just appeared,” she blurted. “He started reciting _Howl_. He keeps vanishing and reappearing in different spots, picking up where he left off.” She looked first to the left, then to the right. “He vanished though, right before you came. I don’t know where he is.”

“It’s okay,” Jim said with a charming smile. “That’s what we’re here for.” 

Bones pulled out his PKE meter and took readings. “I’ve got residuals of a class three, heading back towards the storeroom.”

“You and Hikaru go back that way,” Jim said. “Radio if he causes a problem. Scotty and I will wait here in case he comes back.”

“Roger,” Hikaru said as he took the point. Bones absently wandered after him, absorbed in the readings like always. Scotty pulled out his own PKE meter and began to examine the main showroom. 

“I guess he really did see the best minds of his generation destroyed by madness,” Jim couldn’t help but say as he attempted to comfort the woman. It wasn’t working; she looked everywhere but at him.

“Wait a second,” Scotty said. “Did you say one?”

“Yes, there’s only one,” the woman said.

“What’s up?” Jim asked.

“I’m reading five,” Scotty said. The radios on their belts crackled. 

Jim picked his up. “This is Jim. Over.”

 _Jim, I don’t know what’s going on_ , came Bones’ voice. _But I’m reading five class threes. Two back here, three up front. I…holy shit!_

“Bones?” Jim tried again. “Bones, talk to me. Over.” Before he could repeat himself, the air stirred in the showroom. Jim glanced towards the wall, and what he saw made his blood freeze in his veins.

Standing in front of him in their old beige uniforms and somehow with proton packs were green glowing versions of him and Scotty. They were transparent like ghosts, and steam flowed out of their eyes, ears, and mouths. 

“What the shit?” Scotty said as he dropped the meter.

“ _My name is Doctor James T. Kirk_ ,” the Jim doppelgänger said in a monotone.

“ _I am Doctor Montgomery Scott_ ,” Scotty’s twin added.

“Uh…” Scotty said.

“Now wait just a minute,” Jim said stepping forward. “ _I’m_ James T. Kirk. I couldn’t look as bad as you on a bet.” He flipped the switch to arm his proton pack. “There’s only enough room in this town for one me.”

“ _I agree. This means one of us must go,_ ” his double said. He moved faster than Jim and opened fire with his pack. Jim and Scotty dodged it, Jim pulling the showroom owner with him. The blast formed a jagged hole in the wall, and Scotty whistled. 

“Not on my watch, laddies,” Scotty said as he returned fire. Jim followed suit, but it didn’t affect them the way it did normal ghosts. They managed to free themselves and took off running out the store. Jim and Scotty chased them out into the street, but they disappeared.

Bones and Hikaru appeared behind them, with Hikaru carrying a smoking trap. “Did you guys just…?”

“Yeah,” Jim said. “Unnerving to say the least.” He noticed the trap. “Did you get yours?”

“No, they hightailed it,” Bones said. “This is Ginsberg.” He folded his arms across his chest and gave Jim a stern expression. “Funny thing about them, they were wearing our old uniforms. The ones you, Jim, allegedly burned weeks ago. Is there something you need to tell us?”

Oh.

That was what he forgot.

“Shit,” Jim said. “Shit, I meant to, I really did. I swear I didn’t not do it because I thought it was stupid or something.” He gave Bones a pleading look and prepared for the thorough dressing down he was about to receive. “It seriously just slipped my mind with everything else that’s been happening.”

Hikaru and Scotty glared at him, and Bones’ eyes were hard. After a few minutes of this, they softened, and he sighed. “There’s no point in screaming at you.”

“There’s not? Because…” Hikaru’s words died when Bones raised one of his hands.

“It’s already happened; all we can do now is find them and bust them,” Bones continued. “It is what it is.” He pulled off his proton pack. “Write the invoice so we can go home and work out a strategy.”

Jim blinked several times before turning to head back into the store. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scotty make a motion like cracking a whip, and he heard Hikaru laugh. He followed directions, although he barely finished writing the invoice before the woman handed him her business Amex card. Jim took an etching of the card and handed it back. He ran out front to Ecto, sliding into the backseat next to Bones. 

The iPhone beeped, signaling they had a text message. Hikaru unlocked the phone and pulled it up. “Poltergeists at Fisherman’s Wharf,” he read as he turned back on the sirens. 

Strategy would have to wait.

\-----

After getting two more rush jobs, the Ghostbusters found themselves at home, surrounding Janice’s desk. “So let me see if I’m understanding you,” she said. “Your old uniforms, that some lunkhead---“ Jim scowled. “---failed to burn have literally woken up and walked away?”

“Yup,” Hikaru said as he took a sip of his beer. Their schedule was clear for the rest of the night, so it was safe for them to drink. 

Janice’s eyebrows knit together. “But…how?”

“The psychokinetic energy the uniforms absorbed in our fight with Gozer, combined with the psychokinetic energy from the containment grid’s explosion, formed them,” Bones explained as he unwrapped a Twinkie. “Ectoplasm is a lot like putty or clay; the more you get, the bigger it forms. It was only a matter of time before something like this occurred.”

“But why’d they look like you?” Janice asked. “That doesn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t they just be some kind of nebulous ghost thing?”

Bones paused, taking a bite of his Twinkie. He washed it down with a sip of beer and made a face at the aftertaste. “Every time you touch something, you leave a mental imprint,” he said. “The more you touch the object, the stronger the impression.”

“As we spend sometimes sixteen hours a day in our suits,” Scotty added. “They have a strong impression of us.”

“They think they are us, or rather, that they can be us by killing us,” Bones continued. “So we just have to find a way to stop them.”

“What’s with their proton packs?” Hikaru asked, and Jim raised an eyebrow. “What did they shoot at us?”

“I think it’s just concentrated blasts of ectoplasm,” Bones said. “Best I can theorize, anyhow.”

Scotty, who had a sandwich in his hand, looked down under Janice’s desk. Jim watched him smile at the floor.

Wait, why was he smiling at the floor?

“Uh, Scotty?” Jim asked, and Scotty looked up with a guilty expression. “Care to share with the rest of the class?”

“Oh um…” Scotty held his hands up, and the sandwich disappeared. “I lost a contact lens?”

“You don’t wear contacts,” Jim said with a sinking feeling. “Scotty. What were you doing just now?”

Scotty flushed beet red. Bones, Hikaru and Janice stared at him too. He looked at all of their faces for a second before he started rambling. “He’s hungry, and I feel so bad, and he hasn’t hurt anyone, so I feed him because…”

“Feed who?” Janice said.

It dawned on Jim. “Oh no. No. Mother-fucking _hell no_. You are not keeping that ghost like he’s some kind of house pet,” Jim snapped.

Scotty sat straighter in his chair. “He has a name, and it’s Pavel Chekov.”

Jim threw up his hands. “And now you’re teaching him English. Jesus Christ, Scotty!”

A wince crossed Bones’ features. “Well…actually. I taught him English.”

Jim gaped at his lover. “You…what…?”

“He’s been helping me when Ecto needs repairs,” Hikaru added. “Really, Jim. He’s fine.”

“He could also be of considerable scientific use,” Bones said. “I can’t perform experiments on the ghosts in the containment unit for obvious reasons, but Chekov is willing to sit still for them. We could get a Nobel, Jim,” he said, and his eyes sparkled.

Jim glared at him. “It is not fair at all when you look at me like that, just so you know.”

“He really isn’t that bad,” Hikaru said with a smile. “Why can’t we keep him around?”

Jim huffed and glared at each of them, but honestly, he didn’t have a good reason for saying no. Especially since the ghost stayed out of his way during the last five weeks. Jim huffed a second time, but just as he was about to tell them all no again, Ecto’s engine roared to life. Startled, the five of them stared at the ghostly twins of Hikaru and Scotty backing the car out through the garage door and into the street. “Shit!”

“Our proton packs,” Hikaru said. “We didn’t unload them!”

The car parked on the street, and the four uniformed ghosts stepped inside the firehouse, aiming their particle throwers at the five of them. 

“Ideas? Bones? Anyone?” Jim said as he took a reflexive step backwards.

“Duck,” Bones said as he dove behind Janice’s desk. The ghosts aimed and fired, and it was quick work for the other guys plus Janice to hide behind it. 

“How are we supposed to fight them when we don’t have our packs?” Scotty whispered.

Bones peered over the desk with the look he’d get when he was getting an idea. 

Jim grabbed him and tried to pull him down. “Bones? Babe? We don’t stick our heads up where they can be taken off.”

“Wait a second,” Bones said as he waved Jim off. “They’re getting weaker.”

Scotty stuck his head up over the desk and stared at them; Jim followed his gaze, and sure enough, they looked less solid than they had before. “Hey, wait. You’re right. The ectoplasm they shoot has to come from somewhere. Why not their own bodies?” Scotty said. “Presumably if they keep firing, they’ll weaken enough for us to take them.”

“So we need to send someone out to draw their fire,” Hikaru said. “But who can we afford to do that? They might not come back.”

“So Janice,” Jim said, and he promptly got slapped on the back of the head. “Jesus, it was a joke!”

“Not funny,” Janice said, and the tone of her voice was brooked no argument.

The ghosts advanced towards them. Scotty sighed. “I’ll go.”

With a pop, the green glowing boy appeared. “No, Scotty,” he said in a thick Russian accent. “I can do this.”

“Wait what?” Scotty said as the ghost rolled up his sleeves. The ghost, or Chekov, Jim supposed, flew off into the middle of the garage with a snarl. The ghostly Ghostbusters took aim and fired at him; he zoomed around the ceiling, dodging all their strikes. 

The little guy could move.

“Well, shit,” Jim said, as Chekov stuck his tongue out at the other ghosts and blew them a raspberry. “He is…” Just as he started to speak, one of the blasts clipped Chekov, sending him into a tailspin. He bounced off the left wall, then the right before ricocheting into and sliming Jim. “God dammit,” Jim said from the floor. Bones helped him up.

Chekov shook his head a few times. “Sorry, Jim,” he said.

“Do you think that was enough?” Janice asked. Jim looked at the ghosts; they were wispy and barely able to hold their forms together. They attempted to fire, but only steam came out.

“Is the spare proton pack by the lockers?” Jim asked. 

Bones and Scotty looked. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Jim took off at a sprint, doing a barrel roll and landing right by the spare pack. He didn’t even take the time to strap into it; he armed it and fired a wide-angle dispersion. It blasted the ghosts out into the street, and the Ghostbusters walked to where Ecto had been haphazardly parked. Bones, Hikaru, and Scotty each grabbed a proton pack of their own, and the four of them lined up in a row. “Say good night, assholes, because the _real_ Ghostbusters are here to stay,” Jim said.

The four of them opened fire, and the ghosts screamed in protest. 

“Hikaru, the trap,” Bones said as he held his position.

“Got it,” Hikaru said as he slid out the trap underneath them. He stepped on the trigger, and the ghosts were sucked into it. The suits remained on the ground, although they were charred and tattered.

Jim exhaled. “Well, that’s over.”

Chekov appeared next to them, and he exclaimed, “Ебать да!”

“So…as we were saying,” Scotty said to Jim, who raised an eyebrow at him. “He is useful to have around, a good test subject, and he saved us all. So…can we keep him?”

“Please,” Chekov said with his eyes huge like saucers.

“Oh my God, okay, fine,” Jim said. “Jesus, turn it off.” Chekov grinned, reached out, and smacked a wet, slimy kiss on Jim’s cheek. Jim gave a full-body shudder. “Ugh, oh God. Don’t ever do that again.”

Chekov just smiled and flew back into the firehouse.

\-----

_Present Day_

“So that was how I…er, I mean…the guys decided to keep Chekov,” Jim said with a smile at Tonia. 

She smiled back. “That’s a great tale, Doctor Kirk. I think I know how to handle my story from here.” She pushed the stop button on her recorder and slid it into her purse. Tonia stood and Jim joined her, walking her towards the front door. “You know, you’re not what I was expecting,” she said after a minute.

“I get that a lot,” Jim said. “Photographs don’t do me justice.”

Tonia gave him a sideways look. “I meant because of your reputation as a ladies’ man. You haven’t hit on me once.”

Oh that. “Well, I’m in a relationship actually,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head. They stood at the door, and the reporter smiled up at Jim.

“If anything changes,” she said as she handed him a card. “Call me.” With a wave, she made her way out the door. 

Jim blinked down at the card in his hand before ripping it in half. A hand slid around his waist, and he looked into Bones’ eyes. “You coming to mark your territory?”

“Do I need to?” Bones asked with a teasing tone. “I think Janice might get upset if I piss around you.”

“Yes, she would,” Janice called from her desk. 

Jim rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to Bones. “No seriously, what are you doing out of the lab?”

Bones shrugged. “Scotty and I figured out a few of the power couplings on the gateway are bad, which is why it keeps acting up…”

“You mean trying to blow us to smithereens,” Jim said as he put his hands in Bones’ back pockets.

Bones glared at him. “We ordered some new ones, but the fastest shipping they offer is Priority Mail. So I’m at loose ends for the next three days or so.”

Jim raised an eyebrow. “Well, well. However shall we pass the time?”

“Mmmm,” Bones said as he closed the distance and kissed him. The kissing turned to making out, and Bones slid his hands into Jim’s hair.

“Oh for God’s… _you have a bedroom_. It’s not even a hundred feet away,” Janice shouted. Jim extended his arm and raised up his middle finger, causing her to make a frustrated noise. “That’s it. I’m going to lunch.” Jim continued to kiss Bones as Janice brushed past them. “Paid, too,” she said as she flounced out the door. 

This made Jim laugh into the kiss. Bones broke it and watched her go for a second. “We probably should take this upstairs before we become indecent.”

Jim let go of Bones and walked towards the stairs. “Yeah. Because we’re about to get all kinds of dirty up in here.”

They made it to their room, and the door slammed shut behind them.

\-----

A week later, on a night that they specifically asked Janice to refuse any and all appointments for, the Ghostbusters plus Janice and Chekov sat in the living room tuned into KNTV.

“I still have no idea what this is going to even be about,” Scotty said as he reached for the popcorn on the table. 

“It’s not going to be a good story at all,” Hikaru added from where he sat on the floor. “She only interviewed Jim. How can you only interview one of us for a history of our business?”

Jim leaned back on the couch with his arms folded behind his head. “What can I say? She saw me, and she didn’t need anything else.”

Bones rolled his eyes. “Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back, Jim.”

Chekov took a huge handful of the popcorn and swallowed it all in one big bite. “Needs more butter,” he said as he reached for more.

Janice grabbed the remote and turned the volume up. “I think it’s starting.” They all fell silent. 

_\---Bringing you a special report tonight about the lives of our local heroes. One hero in particular. A Ghostbuster among Ghostbusters._

Jim grinned. “Oh, well. I mean, I’m good but…”

 _I am referring of course to that unsung hero, Chekov_ , Tonia Barrows concluded as a picture of Chekov smiling formed in the corner of the screen.

“Chekov?” The humans all asked in unison. The ghost himself wasn’t paying attention; he had taken the entire bowl of popcorn and dumped it into his open mouth.

“I never liked you,” Jim said. “I take back the four nice things I’ve said about you. You need to move out.”

Chekov continued to eat, oblivious. Finally, the popcorn was gone, and he looked at the others with wide eyes. “More?”

Jim sighed as Scotty took the bowl into the kitchen. “Some hero.”

Chekov shrugged and smiled.

 _This is Tonia Barrows, for KNTV news_ , the reporter said as the broadcast cut to commercial.


End file.
